Life Is Beautiful

If you pay attention, you can learn a little something each day. Normally, I operate in the mundane. Slow down while eating so you don't choke, hold the baby's feet so he doesn't Riverdance in his own poopy diaper, use electrical tape, not duct tape, to keep the school agers quiet. You know, common sense. But lately I have had my eyes opened to something pretty important. Pride, stupid pride (insert child gasping at the use of the "s" word). The most difficult lessons I have been taught in recent years all have to do with pride. The word is like a nasty taste in my mouth. I just want to spit it out. Such has been the lesson of late. Nursing Cameron came to a point around about a month or so ago, where I was continuing on just for pride. He's had four front teeth for months now, and the kid could probably - quite successfully - drink a triple thick milk shake with a coffee stir stick. About the same time, I realized that he didn't like pureed f...

Not a snow blizzard, a DQ blizzard. I am learning that eating pounds of sugar wrapped in saturated fat will not, as it turns out, solve anything. Hmph. Just like liquor. Damn. Today was one of the worst days as a daycare provider yet. Normally, there is one kid that has "issues" (my own child, usually) because little kids are constantly growing and changing and well, that can hurt sometimes. But this day was special. Both of the 8mo old babies are teething. Acid diapers causing bleeding diaper rash. The Snot Faucet was on full bore so not a nap could be had. There were tears, there was screaming...and that was just me! Also, I seem to have hit some sort of hormonal flux due to the fact that the last time I nursed Cameron (for the last time) was about 2 days ago. Today I felt like the worst PMS ever. The phrase "I hate you, don't touch me or I'll tear your hand off" ran through my mind more than once. I wanted to climb up on top of the house and ...

I had the ER nurse take this shot before they stitched it up. Eww... Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

This last week has been even fuller than the last one! There has been much in the way of revelation. I figure nobody really wants to read a 4 page account of my life this week, so I'll hit the highlights in a few separate installments. --Your welcome-- I'll start at the beginning of the week. My house tried to kill me. I'm happy to still be alive and kicking despite it's attempt. Maybe we should have chose a different color when we painted. Hmm. On Tuesday we had freezing fog in the morning. Our older children were up and ready early and had a field trip with some fellow home schoolers to attend. Our neighbor also home schools her kids and is a tremendous help and resource for me. Our 11yo son went out the front door and came back in, telling me that he'd slipped and things were icy out there. Trying to prevent a serious fall, I went out on the front porch and grabbed the rock salt. Each foot stepped successfully down our concrete front steps, but on the s...

The last week has been to busy for blogging. I started cultivating a nice infection on Sunday and by Monday had full blown mastitis. I even had DH stay home from work to help me with the children. I was one sick puppy! My weightloss last week came out at -3.8lbs. Oooh, just shy of 4! I was pretty surprised to post a big loss again. That's almost 7lbs for January - only 3 to go for my 10lbs per month goal! I only got to exercise 1 day last week, but I counted every little itty bitty calorie. Sticking to 1800, still. It sounds like a lot compared to most of the ladies on the weight loss boards, but I guess I burn a lot. Whatever works! Back to the subject of my difficulty last week. This was the second HUGE pain and in this area in the last month. I suffered with some terrible scabbing a couple of weeks ago that made me want to *scream* every time I fed him. He has 4 teeth and nearly chews through a feeding. All things considered, I decided to try some formula in a bot...

I heard a quote today that really said what I have always wanted to say about BOREDOM but could never quite put into the right words. "Boredom is the desire for desires." -Leo Tolstoy A brilliant writer, Mr. Tolstoy got it right. If you're bored, it's because you are wasting time wishing for wishes. You can't even think of anything to do, so you do nothing. The phrase "I'm bored" bothers me from the youngest person's lips to the oldest. When a kid says it, it most likely mean "I don't want to do what I know I should do." But when an adult says it - it either means "I can't go do what I really want to do" or "I'm not brave enough to do anything else." Sad. I hear it a lot from Moms. I don't think they mead that they are bored though. Life is one thing after another. Sometimes it's the same thing. For weeks. Or months. Years, even. But who's folly is that? You're own I say. Li...

A frequent topic of discussion among people trying to shed pounds is "When/how do you weigh yourself?" If you are on a maintenance plan and happily sticking to an exercise and healthy eating plan, then weighing yourself once a month is best. But if you are working daily on calorie restriction and working an exercise plan to loose weight, once a month may not be enough. I had been weighing myself once a month, and ended up waiting till the last 2 weeks of the month to follow my eating plan. :-o Most weight loss programs recommend weighing once a week or less. Weighing at the same time of day is helpful as well. You will almost certainly weigh more at night than you do in the morning. Weighing right before you hop in the shower will give you the ol ' Birthday Suit weight. For a long time I was a once a week weigher . Monday morning before breakfast. That was me. But it seemed like I suffered from accountability issues in that amount of time as well. Either I wait ...

Had me one of those days where I just wanted to run away. I placated them with cartoons long about 4pm and just stood in the kitchen for a while. Made some coffee, chugged some black, and moved on. Getting back into the swing of things with school has been hard. For me. The kids are happy to have something to do on these sub-zero days, but it's extra work and I had just gotten used to not doing it. I love accomplishing something though, and getting done by 2pm gives me that feeling. Cameron is sleeping better than ever and that's a plus. However, the kids haven't been outside since Sunday when we went to Church and I'm ready to bash The Biggers heads together and tie up one of The Littles and throw her in a closet. **Of COURSE I wouldn't do that** I've been easily able to stick to my diet plan this week. I decided that I'm to busy to log food on the computer and have been keeping a running total on the white board. Works great - most foods have a...

You awake? Because I am. At 5:30 or so every day. Feed me. Hold me. What was that!? Your 'real' alarm. Yawwnn. I'm tired, put me back to bed, and get to work - those other kids will be here soon. Snooore.

I was so appalled with the price of bread today at the grocery store, that I just had to snap a picture. Wow. And this was at a warehouse super store where I have to forage and haul my own purchase. I want to feed my family well, but with $3/gallon and higher milk (which translates to uber -expensive cheese and yogurt) and $2/lb apples in my cart, I left the bread. I admit it, I grabbed the store brand psuedo -wheat bread. We'll slap some lean meat and lite mayo on it and figure two out of three ain't bad.

The last day of 2009, woohoo ! I feel good about this last year. I learned much. One thing, in particular is that I don't want to give birth to any more babies. Now, I wouldn't mind HAVING more babies, but I don't want to carry them. The wreckage of that was somewhat addressed today in a doctors office. I've been having back trouble. Yep, just like everyone else. I had some chiropractic and some PT, been consistent with stretching and exercise. So then came the MRI, which was pretty clean. So the next thing was this injection I had today. Turns out the theory is that my Sacoriliac joint is inflamed. By inserting a disturbingly long needle into that joint and filling it with cortisone, it should help to reduce that inflamation . This joint is the one that holds you hip to your "back" if you will. It loosens and widens when you are preggers and allows for baby passage. Yikes. It's pretty sore. This guy was not what I would consider gentle. M...

I have been given many reasons to decrease my body weight and increase my health. I have four beautiful children to chase after. I also have some athletic goals that I set before we had these last two young babies and my weight got out of hand. Half Marathon - check, Marathon - next, Triathlon - after that. Having been a smoker through the teens and twenties, I am happy to now have the health and the option to participate in sports. I have a bike, would like to learn more about that. Swimming...we'll see how long it takes me to tackle that one. It seems that running is best for me - I am only able to concentrate on the one foot in front of the other thing! Most of the time, I am blissfully unaware of my weight. The kids don't remind me, my husband loves me heavy, thin, whatever. I don't look at the tag on the pants when I put them on (though I do notice they are w-i-d-e-r than they used to be!) I don't shop much for clothing, and have a regulated home based li...

The other day when my husband was home during the day with us - he looked at me and said the words I've longed to hear. Yes, in the midst of a screaming baby, a naked sprinting toddler, two fighting big kids and the blaring TV - my beloved says "This is madness! I don't see how you do it!" With my spirit bolstered and my pride stroked a bit, I just shrugged and agreed that it is indeed madness, smiled and said "And I make it look GOOD." Hey, you have to laugh or you'll cry sometimes! I was happy to be acknowledged. At a conventional job, you may get a regular performance review. What follows would be suggestions, commendations, and if your lucky, additional compensation. I don't care about the compensation as such. I am paid in hugs. I also hold the title of "Only One Who Can Comfort" at times. That is worth a Million Bucks, roughly, in US Currency. But what I sometimes crave is an overall assessment of my performance. There are t...

Wow, what a day! Busy, busy - and I even got a 20min nap this afternoon. Unfortunately, I am in such a funk that I hardly can write to you. People's voices are grating on me. I want to throw things. No it is not that TOM. I ran this morning to rid my body of frustration. That just served to make me more tired and grumpy. My house got a bomb dropped on it of wrapping paper and ribbons. My Mom and Son made a PIE in my kitchen...so doing dishes at 9pm. Lord almighty how I would love to have a dishwasher. I will try to be in a better mood tomorrow. :D Promise.

What a fantastic day of blessings! In this pre-Christmas week, it seems that generosity is the buzzword. Giving is great, but giving with thoughtfulness is truly admirable. At church on Sunday there was a package with my name on it and no "from" tag. Inside was three large bottles of product from Bath and Body Works. Shower gel, lotion, and scented spray. To top it off, the scent is absolutely perfect! It's a woodsy, natural, patuli type scent. I love it so much I sure wish I could thank whomever decided that I needed a gift! Then this morning, Sweetie Boy's Mommy brought me a gift. Inside was a lovely ornament with SB's picture, a Christmas card with both of their little mugs and a Shopko gift card. The amount was extremely generous and I just appreciate it SO very much. I'm not used to having a whole lot of disposable money to use on myself - Sweetie Boy's Mommy is pretty intuitive and apparently loves her daycare lady!!

I don't lead an especially exciting life. There's not a whole lot of drama going on, I guess. I have a friend that is my "everything happens to her" friend. Murphy's Law has got nothing on this lady, serious. There have been times when, if I didn't know her character so well, I would have thought she was pulling my leg. So back to my non-drama life. I do have an affinity for change, which might look like drama to the naked eye, but really it's just shaking things up a bit. I don't usually freak to badly over huge changes - I don't normally have a problem sleeping or eating when it comes to things like, oh...changing jobs, moving, getting married, having a baby, buying a car, you know - little things. I guess my life up until 5 years ago was such a freak show 24/7 nothing bothers me now. I know that God is in control and that's cool with me. Enter "The Little Stuff". Tomorrow we have a meeting with the grade school to discuss m...

I don't remember getting in bed with my Mom in the middle of the night when I was little. Maybe I did and it's just that those brain cells that contained that memory were the ones I killed in the '90's. I'm sure she will read this post and remind me that I did - doesn't every kid?? I guess that might be the error in my thinking that has brought me to this. Our 6-year-old has developed a regular and quite sneaky habit of slipping in bed with me in the night. There is an excuse offered of a bad dream, but I don't always buy it. It didn't bother me to much until just recently because she doesn't fit very well right next to me anymore. Her baby brother is quickly claiming the space between me and the edge of the bed. If she's really having bad dreams then it kinda makes me feel bad to but the squelch on this. Anyway, it isn't terribly inconvenient. I can hear her pad down the hall and I reflexively lift the comforter and scoot a little closer to...

Welcome to 2009! Someone mentioned recently that they couldn't believe that "Y2K" was 9 years ago...I agree, time passes quickly. I have a birthday that falls nearly at the end of the year, so I am blessed enough to have two causes to pause and reflect at this time of year. I'm not into making New Years Resolutions, but I do rather enjoy looking back at the year before and reflecting. In some respects, January of last year seems like ages ago. Our youngest daughter was 6 months old and attending daycare. The older children started a new school, closer to our new residence, and my Husband was just settling in at a fairly new job. I had returned, reluctantly, to my long time secretarial post after an extended maternity leave. I was hurt and angry that God wasn't making a way for me to stay home with our children, and copped attitude with him for a bit. In February we embarked on a Family Experiment that tested the mettle of all of us. My Husband and I became single ...

My son brought home an ideal today that he brought to me, not because he didn't understand it, but because he didn't understand why the teacher said it. My 10 year old son fully understood what had been told to him and his fellow classmates, but knew that it wasn't quite right. Again, it's the gifted coordinator (let's call her Mrs. H) that this is coming from. I have had some interesting exchanges with her, and it looks like things are going to heat up. Liam said "Mom, Mrs. H told us something today that I don't understand. She told us that we need to keep learning and learning until we are so smart that our parents and teachers are worthless and we can just teach ourselves". As my internal organs became lava like and threatened to come blasting out the top of my head, God's divine intervention took over and prevented me from hollering "What?!!" Okay, must use patience, must ask more questions... I asked Liam what part of what Mrs. H tol...