Life Is Beautiful

Goodbye August, hello September! Hello Autumn, hello soups and casseroles, long sleeved shirts, the smell of wood burning stoves, hello off -season.  I started out September with a terrible nights sleep followed by the most difficult workout of the last 10 weeks of training.  My ride wasn't too bad, other than the wind.  That died down about halfway through and was replaced by rain in the last 6 miles.  My run was another story.  I got almost to the 3 mile turnaround and walked twice. As I forced myself to put one foot in front of the other I zoned out and had sort of a dizzy feeling towards the end.  Heart rate data indicates that my body was really struggling, not just my mind.  Pushing myself to exhaustion on a run on a Sunday morning makes me, once again The Freak in the Room .  My husband has had fun with this designation since I read Meredith's post over at Swim Bike Mom.  She talks about how being a triathlete makes her a li...

  Hello, Monday.  I liked you about as much as I normally do, today.  Our 4 year old son woke us up hollering his little head off at about 4:15 this morning.  He had a question.  Uh-huh.  So after my adrenaline was all charged up (and I answered the stinking question), I was unable to fall back asleep.   My husband gets up at 4:30 to ride his bicycle to work.  I laid around and tried to worry my brains out about money, but decided a better use of my time would be here:     The pain cave.   Today was leg day - and I experimented with listening to music instead of watching Star Trek.  I felt like my time was more "my own" when I had the headphones on.  I don't know...for what its worth, I had a good hour of leg and ab goodness.   I finally figured the banking for the month - and if I keep squeezing these here stones, everything will be fine.  :o)  Ha, ha...yeah, things are tough all ove...

Oh boy, I sure wish that I had a wonderful report for you on my very first 14 mile run.  The truth is, that I only made it 7 miles. :( On Friday night we all went out to eat.  My husband got a bonus at work, so the six of us lived it UP at The Golden Corral.  With four children, a buffet contains the single best odds for percentage of satisfaction. And they have a chocolate fountain.  Boom. We all got what we wanted to eat and I even got some guacamole! Yay!  As we were coming out of the restaurant, I stepped down and a white hot pain shot through my calf muscle.  Hmm...that was weird.  I stretched it a little and my muscle just tightened into a ball.  Hmm... We went to another store and walked around (Friday night as a family of 6 - rock on!) and I had a tough time not limping.  By the time we got home, I was rubbing down with BioFreeze and stressing over my long run the next day. Things seemed a little better on Satu...

Yes, I am reduced to the cute kitty passed out in his bowl of food for this post. This is how I feel tonight. Today was a day in which I feel very blessed to be needed - and even more so that I can complete everything that everyone needed me to do. We started school today. My 8 th grader, 4 th grader and pre - schooler were at the table ready to learn at 9am. My 22mo old daycare sweety and our 2 year old son came along to color in coloring books and cheer on their older counterparts. Or to swipe their pencils, try to crumple their pages, and cry when the allotted 5.1 second attention span of a toddler was up. Either way - choose your scene. The older kids did great - we completed our morning work early enough to have 20 extra minutes out doors. I made something simple for lunch and we even got to watch 40 minutes of TV during lunch. All praise God our Father, those 3 nappers took champion naps today and the big kids and I got down with some Math, Science, and Electi...

I am constantly amazed when I see people smoking. How can you STILL not know how bad that is for you!? I started smoking when I was 14 and puffed away until age 29. When I was 20 or so, smoking was outlawed in public places in my state. At age 23, my Dad died of lung cancer from smoking. I continued to struggle and puff away until, finally, the Lord removed my desire to smoke. No kidding. I'll tell the story some time - it's kooky...and if you ever smoked, you'd know my quitting couldn't be from any other power. Anywho - as an athlete, now - when I run through a cloud of cigarette smoke, it makes me gag. It's not just the stinky smell, and toxic fumes, but I get a little miffed. I NEED my lungs! I understand (and care) that my lungs take in oxygen and it is passed on to my muscles. My muscles (my heart!) are needed to use those legs for running and biking, and my arms for swimming. My lungs might be the most important organ in my body for all of the ac...

What do you do to cope with the stress of daily life? Listen to music Take a bath Watch a favorite TV show or movie Go for a walk Read a book Pray What about when things get really hard to handle? Talk to a friend or family member Go for a longer walk Read your Bible Eat Drink Isolate Stop talking Sleep to much Stare endlessly at TV that doesn't really interest you The later of the hard to handle list used to be my way to cope. Essentially, not coping at all. Just trying to weather the storms of life until it passed. How did that work out for me? Not well. Things do pass with time, but you never grow unless you learn to cope. While I disagree with the theory of evolution of species, Darwin did get it right when he asserted that "survival is ultimately dependent on the ability to change and evolve." Change in a positive direction is labeled "growth" - spiritual maturity. And if you want to survive your life, you have to change. Back to the question: What...

I ran this morning. Not a beloved long Sunday run - but just 2 miles or so. My knee didn't hurt, and I think things may be on the mend. When I run I get the opportunity to think - alone - a complete thought. I was thinking about this blog and the fact that I haven't written much about running lately. Well, I haven't really run much lately - like about 10 miles in the last 3 weeks! After hurting myself (again) and really having to take the slow path, then the injections in my spine, I just guess I was a little mad at running, overall. I'm not a fast runner, but have maintained a respectable amount of mileage to at least feel like a "real" runner. Fifteen or so miles per week was getting to be the norm and as I took it farther, I experienced an injury. Made me mad. I even considered that maybe I "shouldn't" run anymore. Thought of buying a road bike and trying my hand at that...or rather my legs. But today I considered my running history...

Something important occurred to me as I sat down for a little rest after supper. Oddly, it was that I did a good job today. Yep, self praise. And why not? To many times I pick apart what I didn't do right and smack myself on the head. Each night I take an inventory of the day and ask for forgiveness for the stuff I messed up. It's okay, we all mess up. Every day. Even today. But for a change of pace, I patted my own back and said this: Good job Honey / Momma / Miss Andrea. You changed, chased, comforted, taught, fed and loved everyone in your path today. You kept your cool when someone lied to you and taught them why that hurts. You created a diversion when little ones refused to nap and remained sane. You made healthy yet edible foods, and kept the cleanliness level of the household above a health code violation. You even squeezed in time for yourself and took that important morning run. Yay , me! What about you? Make a list of positive things you did today. Le...

As of today I am done feeling sorry for myself. My pity party concerning the events of the last month is now over. Thought you'd like to know.

Life is not a TV show. Nor does my workout even closely resemble an exercise video. I have a nice collection of DVD's and VHS tapes that give much variety to my workouts. The fine, fit folks in those videos are fabulous guides. I've learned a ton about proper stretching and safe weight lifting form. Last night when I was at the YMCA (or the ERETA as Susan calls it) I was on a treadmill right in front of the window. As the sun started to go down, I got a clearer and clearer look at that chubby housewife in the window. Sweat rolling down my face, mouth hanging open, pulling the reoccurring wedgie down from the ever after and pulling my t-shirt down from up and over my hips. Not a pretty sight. But then again, real people sweat. We turn red, we huff and puff. And so do those folks on the videos (if they were working to the perceived exertion that I am). I'm sure they cut those videos just right and keep the temp in the studio sub zero. That's the only way those ...

Hooray for the day in honor of all thing mooshy - gooshy ! My dear sweet David brought home some flowers for me and we got each other cards. I hear tell there is a new frying pan coming in the mail as well. Yes - I asked for a new frying pan for Valentine's Day. I had long ago set a goal to get my wedding ring back on by today. Last night I slipped it on with no problems! Yay ! Um...I can't get it off now, but hey - it's on again and that's where it will stay. I'm sure it will just get looser and looser. It's not cutting off the circulation or anything - so it's okay. Today we ventured out to eat for the first time in about 6 weeks. Anything but Subway is a crap shoot when it comes to counting calories. We went to Golden Corral, ie . The Trough. I did really well - had a salad with some grilled chicken on it, a little rice, ONE onion ring, skipped the rolls, skipped the taco bar, skipped the yummydelicious mashed potatoes. I did have dessert, ...

I love a good hero story. My favorite show is choc full of them. Every episode, they save the world and humbly return home to have another medal pinned on their uniforms. Plenty of heroes in my own life. My husband qualifies on a daily basis by putting up with me. I'm a bit opinionated and stubborn and... He is a very patient man. God gave him the gift of making peace. He can take any situation and moderate the opposing parties so that they are hugging and singing Kumbiyah at the end of it. One thing I don't want to be anymore is my own personal hero. I used to try my hardest to do everything better than everyone else. I didn't see any merit in second place and wouldn't even attempt something that I knew I wouldn't be just fantastic at. I stressed and strained and pushed and pulled and climbed and scrambled so that everyone would see that Andrea is The Best at _________. I decided this summer that I needed to try to be Just Me and made a conscious effort to stop pus...

That voice is back. The one that has, for a while now, been trying to convince me that a glass of wine wouldn't hurt. Now that voices is a full fledged entity causing me to pause as a drive by bars at 7am. This happens when I get overwrought, overtired and overextended. While the logical choice is to ensure that I get some rest, the alcoholic in me suggests that we kill the pain temporarily and press on like some great martyr nailed to the cross of perseverance. Really, it's just a ploy. She's always in there. And always will be. It was three years in June since my last drink and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I cannot be a "normal" drinker. I don't drink to celebrate, socialize, or relax (okay, those too.) But I drink to forget, soothe, and deal with life. When I quit, I had to re-learn coping techniques to deal with everyday life. Being sober for over three years, I am somewhat of a veteran recovering alcoholic. And not only with length ...

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 Just wanted you to remember that. I'm feeling alot of turmoil due to my job situation. I feel loyal to them but I am just absolutely fed up with all of it. Nothing changes, the rules apply to certain people and not to others, blah blah blah. I quit!

What do you think of when you think of a Mom? I guess it would depend largely on what your frame of reference is on the subject. Meaning that, whatever kind of Mom you had (have) is what you think a Mom should be (or shouldn't be). Nobody's perfect, not even dear Mom. Some days I feel so far left of center that I question whether I was a good choice for a Mom or not. Lately I have been feeling the "just leave me alone"s. I don't want to hear about Princesses or video games or anything. I just want to think all on my own. And I don't want to think about work, or work, or housework, or finances, or family. I just want some totally brainless downtime. So, in that, I feel like a totally bad mother! I don't know how many "shoulds" I can come up with that I'm not fulfilling, but I bet thiers a bunch. With kids it's really hard to hug them when they've been cheesing you off all day. Earlier both girls were just screaming to screa...

Pretty good day today. Had a nice time at church this moring, grilled some brats for lunch, took the kids to the Y for a swim, picked up a nice rotisserie chicken for dinner and now I'm here typing away on my fa-fa-favorite peice of technology, ahhh...the laptop. Our sermon this morning was on Love. It seems that there are several different kinds of love - Pastor listed them but I can't remember all four. They range from the way you love your kids to the way you love your spouse. You love your friends, you love your nieghbor - and God loves you. And that's what I got out of it. God loves YOU. I guess I know in my head that he loves me to, but I don't really feel it, you know? I'm so hard on myself I guess I really don't think that even God loves me. And that's bad. You know that old saying that you can't love anyone until you love yourself...well really it's missing a step - you can't love yourself until you accept that God loves you. P...