Life Is Beautiful

I don't remember getting in bed with my Mom in the middle of the night when I was little. Maybe I did and it's just that those brain cells that contained that memory were the ones I killed in the '90's. I'm sure she will read this post and remind me that I did - doesn't every kid?? I guess that might be the error in my thinking that has brought me to this. Our 6-year-old has developed a regular and quite sneaky habit of slipping in bed with me in the night. There is an excuse offered of a bad dream, but I don't always buy it. It didn't bother me to much until just recently because she doesn't fit very well right next to me anymore. Her baby brother is quickly claiming the space between me and the edge of the bed. If she's really having bad dreams then it kinda makes me feel bad to but the squelch on this. Anyway, it isn't terribly inconvenient. I can hear her pad down the hall and I reflexively lift the comforter and scoot a little closer to...

I used to drink alot. By the grace of God, I quit and haven't had a drop since summer of 2005. Though something happened to my sleep patterns soon thereafter that has yet to resolve. I dream. Yes, everyone dreams but I remember them. I don't remember remembering my nightly dreaming like that when I was soaking myself to sleep. When I had the Saga of the Hand going and was taking narcotic pain relievers, I didn't remember my dreams like this either. It's getting disturbing. I am running around like a commando, jumping out of airplanes, saving the world, driving a truck over the road, doing 25 loads of laundry in individual washers in my basement, correcting my children, driving a house, doing drugs, going to lunch, seeing a movie, watching tv and smooching my husband. It ranges from the bizarre to the mundane and just goes on ALL NIGHT. I'm getting to the point (okay I was there a year ago) where I don't want to go to sleep. The lines between reality and dreaming...

Wow. I have the strangest dreams. Here's the most recent installments. Last night I dreamed that I was a Doctor on a spacecraft. You know, like The Enterprise. I dreamed that the ship was taken over by hostiles and two of them infiltrated the sick bay by gaining my sympathies as injured. As soon as they were healed they turned mean. One of them started trashing the place and going off about how inferior we were and how he's going to kill us all. Then spontaneously, the both went to the bathroom. I saw that as my chance to escape. I ran out of there and ran to the childcare area, looking for the kids. I couldn't find them so I escaped (with the Pastors wife and her son) (???) into an elevator. When it got to the floor that they desired I looked out on the floor and saw those two dudes I had just escaped from. I quickly pushed the button on the elevator and the doors closed just as they were about to get me! I managed to escape from the ship to the planet below ...

The weird dreams can stop now. I'm so tired this morning becasue I wasn't sleeping last night, I was fighting! Last night I dreamed that instead of changing the baby, I just would change the whole bottom half of her. So instead of grabbing the diaper to throw away after I was done, I grabbed a butt and a set of legs. I was thinking "how do I know they will grow back?" So wierd. Also, The Ex showed up in my dreams again. This time it wasn't good. Normally he just floats through, but this time was ugly. Yesterday I had to do a bit of damage control over the phone with him. There were some papers that needed to be completed for the adoption. Apparantly when the petition was submitted to the State, Vital Stats had changed thier requirements and needed one more form. So, of course, he was irritated and confused about why he was having to sign more paperwork and have it notaraized. At this point I think he thought that we were trying to pull one over on him. ...

Okay, I am super sick of all the weird dreams that I have all the time. I started drinking Valerian Root tea before bed to be better relaxed. While that is knocking me on my butt and I am truly fallin asleep faster - I still dream wild and wooley all night long. Last night I was Bruce Willis. Not the old guy that they have now that looks his age but doesn't act it. I'm talking the Bruce Willis from Moonlighting . Remember that show? Well, I was more like the Bruce from Die Hard (the first one, not this Geriatric Die Harder crapolla ). Anyway, I was blowing stuff up, jumping form buildings, running from the cops, man I am TIRED this morning!! I went to bed around 10 ish and got up at 6 - so that's a straight 8, right? Feels like I didn't even sleep. And my back is sore. Oh, also, I think I'm tyring to off myself. I woke up with the sheet up over my head attempting to breathe it in twice last night. I removed it and went back to sleep but can't figure out why ...