Happy Birthday Cammy-Boy

Despite the selfish storm of emotion that has been swirling around in my heart and mind this last couple of days, life does go on.

Oh, and thank God that it does!

I can't imagine the bitter mess I would be without our children to distract me.  :)  Today, we celebrated Cameron Allen's 4th Birthday.  He is my baby.  The last of 4 children.  My sweet, sweet boy.  I can never stay in my own thoughts when this cuteness is around.

We don't do a whole lot for birthdays.  A small gift, a box-mix cake and the birthday kiddo gets to choose what's for supper.  Cameron was very excited with his Red Ranger mask and saber.  We did some lessons on ABCMouse.com together until his buddy, Dylan, came over to play.  That always trumps Mom. 

I made Cam's requested meal for lunch, but made a big batch because I knew the other kids would be envious.  Home Made Mac N' Cheese...mmmm....  And canned fruit.  Strange, strange, child.  Ha!

It was very nice outdoors today, and we spent so much time out there that no body wanted to watch TV!  I did turn on one episode of Power Rangers when the two 4yo's got up early from nap time...they were being very um, animated, and I was afraid they would wake up my sweet little 17mo old.

I learned, today, that our neighbor is expecting again.  I now know 3 women expecting babies this year.  I feel jealous in a strange way.  But not for the child. Or the pregnancy.  I feel jealous because having babies is what young women do.  And, I, am no longer a young woman.  I know - you're only as young as you feel...but time marches on.  Maybe I'm just looking for reasons to feel rotten...could be.  I'm such a whiner sometimes.

The boy seemed happy.  David made the cake that he asked for.  Chocolate cake with white frosting and chocolate chips on top.  And the cheesy number 4 candle on top.  :)

I almost felt like going for a run today.  It was so nice outside, for once!  But...I had another tooth pulled yesterday and it was actually feeling pretty good, so I decided not to push it.  Here's to getting a little wiser in my older age.  

Happy Birthday, Cameron Allen.  You will always be my baby.  Always.

Lincoln Marathon Race Report

Another beautiful Spring day in Nebraska, another year running the Lincoln National Guard Marathon and Half Marathon!

David and I rode our bikes to the start of the race, as we do each year.  Since they recently moved the start line, to accommodate more runners, we need to change where we rack our bikes!

The weather on the Saturday before the race was terrible!  Our 11yo daughter, Alahnnah, ran the KFRX Mayor's Run and it was miserable.  It was about 35 degrees with 20mph winds and rain.  We had discouraged the girls from participating - but when a kid tells you "Mom, we signed up for it, we need to do it" - you have to do it.

Miss A giving me "the look"

Thankfully, Sunday was a little better.  The temps were hovering around 40 and there was no rain.  The wind had died down a bit, but it was still chilly!  I dressed in a t-shirt and a jacket when last year I ran in a tank top!

When we got to the race, we lined up waaaay in the back near the 5:15 pace group.  This was my very first time running the Full Marathon!  David ran with me and planned to leave me at the halfway mark and finish while I went on.  I warned him that it would be the slowest half marathon of his life!  Didn't matter to him.

After waiting about 45 minutes, our group crossed the start line.  We ran easy and chatted.  Lots of costumes and people to look at.  Many in our area were first time half marathoners.  It's very inspiring to run with people who are doing it for the first time.  

Loved the shirts this year!

We used the 10/1 run/walk ratio that I trained with and things were going well.  The 5:15 pace group was doing a little dance with us as they would pass while we walked and we would then pass as we ran.  The spectators along the course were amazing!  The first group that I saw with tissues was a wonderful sight. Snot rockets are okay in training, but really hard to do while running with 10,000 people!

There were people playing live music, folks with speakers hooked up playing Eye of the Tiger, lots of kids giving high fives, people with jelly beans and gummy bears...Lincoln is a wonderful spectator event.  David and I ran along and had a ball.

Around mile 5, I needed to stop.  We waited in line for 4 minutes to use the bathroom, but I figured that was okay.  I just wanted to finish, afterall.  The 5:15 pace group was long gone by that time, bu I knew the 5:30 was back there somewhere. 

After the 10k split, we turned to the west and the wind picked up.  My stomach also started some shenannigans.  Around 7 miles I had to stop again.  It was so bad that I almost didn't make it.  When we got back on the road, I noticed that the 2:55 half marathon pace group was close by.  Hmm...that's not good.  Where is the 5:30 pace group?

More than that, WHAT TIME IS IT?  

Around the 10 mile mark, it occurred to me that I was in jeopardy of NOT making the 10:30 time cutoff to finish the Full Marathon.  At 10:30, they barricade that portion of the trail and re-route you into Memorial Stadium to finish as a Half Marathoner. 

With 2.8 miles to go, we had 30 minutes to make it.  We tried.  We picked it up as best we could.  We past at least 100 people pushing to get there and still make it so I had enough gas left to go another 13 miles.

Missed it by 5 minutes.  Barricades were up, police and race officials were there.  My day was over.

As we headed into the Stadium, the song that was playing was "You Can't Always Get What You Want."  Fitting.  I decided to stop sniffling and cross the finish line side-by-side with my constant supporter and biggest fan.  

More in a different post on how I feel about the whole thing.  Still a little numb.  And frankly, I have a Century Ride that I need to get training for.  I don't have time to sulk.  It sucks, but as I always tell the kids - you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.

I STILL got a medal. :)

Let Me Be Light!

I've been pondering the concept of endurance.

On Sunday, I will run my first Marathon. The concept of endurance isn't entirely foreign to me.  I've run multiple Half Mary's, done a Century Ride and a Sprint and Olympic distance triathlon.  Pain is irrelevant.  Finishing is King.  Just keep moving.

Being a parent is also very much like endurance sport.  There always seems to be task after task that requires energy, mental or otherwise. Fatigue is irrelevant.  Getting to the pillow at night is King.  Just keep moving until the obligations are all done...and the kids are in bed!

And so it will be these next few days.  I had an unfortunate dental incident on Wednesday, and will need to run, on Sunday, with my very cracked tooth.  If you call it 'good news' - I have an appointment to have my naughty tooth extracted on Monday morning..  I'm trying not to freak out.  I had a bad experience, that caused dental surgery to trigger "Extreme Freak Out Mode."  I'm sure it will be okay.  Heck, at least that tooth will never hurt me again!

Trying to stay positive.

With sore legs from running 26.2 miles and a sore mouth from having a molar extracted, I will be required to attend Open House at Culler Middle School on Monday evening.  I hope that I get some pain pills so that I can at least pretend to be normal as I meet teachers and walk all over the place.  I'm sure putting that desire out there wasn't the most sane thing - but hey, I'm fixin' to be a Momathoner = not sane anyhow.

As a multi-sport enthusiast and parent, I've learned equal endurance from each one.  One teaches me more about the other.  Of this Monday excursion, I think - "If I can run 26.2 miles, then I can live through the aftermath with a tooth pulled and a school open house."  Of the Marathon, I can cite our extreme sleep deprivation surrounding our 4th child's first 18 months of life...if I can live through that (and complete 18-wks of training including all of my long runs) I can certainly run 26.2 miles.

Life is an endurance sport.

The key, for me, is to put aside self pity.  I could easily sit down and ponder the injustices of my schedule, blame others for their untimely nature, wallow in regret over my faulty teeth, and feel ashamed of the extra pounds I carry that make all of this a little harder than it really needs to be.

No.  I will not be that type of energy.  Let me be light!!

My life demands light, and plenty of it.  My Heavenly Father gave me a strong back and a strong mind.  All
of these jobs He sees me doing are use of that.

Everyone gets tired.  Life is tiring.

Lord, let me never get tired of LIVING!

Please pray for the police officers and volunteers taking care of us silly runners on Sunday morning.  They will all be out there way longer than any of us.  Mostly unpaid.

Have a delightful weekend.

Sunday Fun Day

Some days, I have everything planned out - then I wake up and remember this and that and finally recall that it's not about me.  Today was one of those days.  Schedules get so tight on the weekends, that if an outside party changes plans, we generally have to chuck our initial plans.  Such was today.  

Still - we got to church, got fed, and got our rides in.  I even got to Menards for gardening supplies ($13) and made my little pepper and tomato plants happier.  They were out growing their little egg carton homes.  My bike ride was okay.  It seems folks are not used to watching for cyclists, yet, this Spring.  I stayed on the bike paths 90% of my ride and still risked being creamed twice.  *sigh*

My ride made me think of this:

All of that aside - I came home to a sweet little boy on his bike for the first time.  My husband cleared our garden plot AND taught Cameron to ride his bike while I was gone.  Over achiever.

I just love this.  They get big and "ride away."

Gotta check your equipment before you take off!

Cutie patoot-ie!

And, because my life isn't complete without Susan being a ham-bone:

I pray you all have a great week!

Busy Days Keep Me out of Trouble

 What a wonderful day in the neighborhood.  It started and ended with our beautiful children - biological and otherwise.  We had a play date, went to a birthday party, and wrapped it up by celebrating the years achievements of our church kids at the AWANA awards service and carnival.

I also had a terrible run this morning - but that's really not worth talking about.  These things are more important:

Susan on her way to Rafiella's birthday party.  It was so cute to see her interact with her classmates and so very nice to chat with the Ortiz Family.  Good, hard working people.

Alahnnah finished her year 3 Truth & Training book.  Thanks to our wonderful AWANA Commander, Sandi.  It seems like if someone else in authority pushes her just a little, Alahnnah will do what's necessary.  Not all of us are born self-motivated.  I think it can be learned.

Susan completed her first year Sparks Handbook.  She was so close, and thanks to Sandi, we got it done.  It's hard when the kids can't read.  They can't study on their own at all...and when Mom gets busy, things don't get done!

Little Cameron got an award for completing his first book. :) The Cubbies are so amazingly cute.  *sigh*  They grow up so fast!  Our little buddy, Dylan, from daycare got his award also.  I'm so happy that his Mom started taking him to club.  I hope that they start coming on Sunday mornings, too.  

Speaking of amazingly cute...  That's our little Sue-Sue!

Gearing Up

Just taped up my knee.  

Bought groceries tonight which included special purchase of bagels, chocolate milk, fruit yogurt, graham crackers, orange juice, granola bars, and wheat thins.

Wondering what this years t-shirt will look like, going out for only easy runs and praying I don't trip over my own feet in the next couple of days and hurt myself.

Yep - it's race week!

But this year, it's especially special.  This year, I am running my very first Marathon.  Twenty-six miles, three-hundred-eighty-five yards of running goodness.  I won't be fast.  I will finish.  Fankly, I'm amazed that I made it through training.  

I really like running.  But I didn't especially like training for a Marathon.  I trained for and ran several halfs - but the Marathon is a totally different animal.  I never hurt like I hurt for this training.  When an ice-bath is a REWARD - you know things have gone terribly wrong!

My family has been absolutely fantastic during training.  David has taken on more of the weekend shuttling, cleaning, directing and feeding than any man should.  My children actually think that ice baths are normal and that there really IS a hook in my rocking chair that manifests itself on Saturday afternoon.

I am excited to run my race and get my medal.  I plan to enjoy each and every mile.  I can then put a check in the box on the Bucket List and move on.  I will be very happy to start training for a Century Ride and a late season Olympic Distance Triathlon.

Mostly, I will be happy to have it over with.

Race day is May 5th - follow me HERE.  My bib number is #1025.  Or better yet - come out and shout for me along Normal Blvd between 11 and 12:00.  I want to see some creative signage and somebody better hand me a beverage!

Long may we run!!

The Grumpy Hours

I don't know what's wrong with me.  Maybe it's:

Seemingly never-ending winter

My inability to sleep

Training for a Marathon

Easter festivities and preparations

Or maybe I've just become a terrible grouch.  Lately I have two times during the day that I just can't seem to pull out of my funk.

Time #1 Wake-up until I drop the girls off at school.

Lately, I haven't slept well.  I started Melatonin and that helped for about 10 days.  So when I wake up in the morning, I'm not thrilled.  I take our Freshmen to school and come home to get the other kids ready for the day.  Our 3 year old has often woken with "shrillness" and our 5 and 11 year olds are nonplussed that school (and winter) is STILL going on.

I feel badly for not being that Sun-shiney Mommy in the mornings...but frankly, just knocking back the coffee and getting to the point where I can make complete sentences is a victory.

Time #2 4pm to 5:30pm

I am a horrible Mother.  When my school age kids walk in the door things get all grumpy-o-licious again.  I still have my daycare sweeties, am in the end parts of fixing dinner, and now need to crack the whip over home work and instrument practice.  It's like the life is being sucked out of me.  I just feel absolutely exhausted and want to be struck with a heavy object to be put out of my misery.

It's not the two little boys screaming through the closed up house (freaking WINTER) acting like Power Rangers.  It's not the Kindergartner resisting writing the numbers 1-50 for the 700th time.  It's not the teen relating stories of maxing out on bench or squat or whatever.  It's not the 11yo crying big fat crocodile tears over having to practice her flute.

IT'S EVER-FREAKING-THING AT THE SAME TIME

Okay.  I'm okay, now.

I feel badly that all I can do is order them around and grunt some semblance of approval in their general direction.  Once daycare is over and dinner is served, I'm okay again...sort of.  But man, am I ever grouchy right now.   I'm doing my best to unpack this attitude of mine.  It isn't helping anyone.  I know that I need to start sleeping better, but not sure HOW to do that.  I actually started taking 2 Melatonin...which is probably why I feel like I got scraped out of a barrel in the mornings...But I am an active gal - I NEED SLEEP.  And stressing over not sleeping = not sleeping.

*sigh*

It's now 10:45.  I better try to go to bed.