When I run I get the opportunity to think - alone - a complete thought. I was thinking about this blog and the fact that I haven't written much about running lately. Well, I haven't really run much lately - like about 10 miles in the last 3 weeks! After hurting myself (again) and really having to take the slow path, then the injections in my spine, I just guess I was a little mad at running, overall.
I'm not a fast runner, but have maintained a respectable amount of mileage to at least feel like a "real" runner. Fifteen or so miles per week was getting to be the norm and as I took it farther, I experienced an injury. Made me mad. I even considered that maybe I "shouldn't" run anymore. Thought of buying a road bike and trying my hand at that...or rather my legs.
But today I considered my running history. I started running in 2005, after hitting my weight goal the first time. I didn't have any running friends, or even know what to do except RUN! It was hard. I had just quit smoking and had just finished up losing 90lbs. The first time I ran 4 miles without stopping, I nearly died.
After our 3rd child was born, I went right back to running. I tried to run into the end of the 5th month - but didn't like the way it felt. When our daughter was 10 months old, I tackled a half marathon. Three months later I was pregnant again, gained to much weight and quit running. I picked it back up again with a walk/run program when our son was 3 months old. It was hard. I was extremely over weight. The first time I ran 5 minutes without stopping, I nearly died.
So I guess what my thought process brought me around to was "Why give up?" After stubbornly continuing to re-loose weight and re-start running - now, at one of the lower weights - why would I give up without a good fight!?
So, I'm over it. I won't give up. I may run nearly a 13min mile (with my HR at 85% of max) most of the time. I may not be a "real runner" and I may always struggle. But I WILL run. I will loose these last 30lbs and I will run faster.
And I will be smiling and sweating all the way!