Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Throwing a Fit

I'm having a hard time putting our nearly 3-year-old to bed lately. Naps and night time = nightmare. I have to physically take her by the hand, change her into appropriate clothes/undergarments, pick her up kicking and screaming and place her in her bed. Sometimes she jumps up and down screaming other times she simply continues to get out of bed, I lay her down over and over and over.

I really hate it when it keeps our 13mo old from sleeping. He has been the Sleeper Who Didn't since birth - so getting and keeping him on a schedule is paramount.

I'm very good at remaining calm and emotionless most of the time when dealing with her. Our oldest daughter put me through nighttime hell for several years. I was a smoker back then, and I would go out on the balcony of our apartment and light up in between times I checked on her. One time I called my Mom at my wit's end and said "I just don't think I can listen to her screaming anymore!" My sweet Mother, in her experience and wisdom reminded me of what the alternative was.

***heavy sigh***

Last week we had an especially hideous nap time episode. After repeated attempts at placing her in bed (and catching a kick to my face for my efforts), I had decided to ignore her and continue with the routine. I was holding Cameron and rocking back and forth while singing the usual songs. After putting the baby in his crib, I sat down next to her toddler bed and continued to sing.

She was freaking out and telling me not to sing. Shaking her head back and forth and screaming with tears streaming down her little cheeks. I stopped singing and sat there with my head down. Pretty soon, she climbed into my lap with her blankie. I rocked her gently back and forth with my head still down, still in silence, listening to her breath even out as she fell fast asleep.

I got to thinking about how I'm just like that sometimes. I fuss and scream and tell God to stop singing to me! Stop loving me, I'm mad!! I jump up and down and try my hardest to force my own will. I don't want to follow rules or do the things that are good for me.

But in the end, He is there waiting for me. He sits quietly and patiently for me to come back to him. He always takes me back no matter what I did, no matter how I kicked and screamed and tried to buck His system.

God loves me, just like I love my petulant toddler. Unconditionally and with forgiveness. Pretty cool.


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  2. Sorry to hear Onery is being, well, onery. :( Hopefully this is just a phase and will end soon. Pretty cool about God. :)