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Showing posts from June, 2008

I Wish I May

I realy wish I was the type of person that was shy. I sometimes think at how much easier my life would be if I was one of those cute little women who waited to speak until spoken to. Who never offer thier opinion and keep largley to themselves unless drawn into the conversation. Well, I'm not. I offer my opinion, make jokes, initiate conversation and generally like to be in the spot light. While I don't feel that I am overbearing or obnoxious (hmm...note to self: ask others about that) I do think that sometimes I say to much. As I get more mature, I see the merit in choosing my words and editing my responses - especially when emailing. That Send button can be killer. I frequent an online community that recently hosted a question that made me want to pick up my computer and smash it on the ground. This question (posed by the creator of the site but not actually asked by her) can be viewed here. "Would You Hire a Plus Size Nanny" Not only was I dissapointed and disguste

I Should Know Better

Why I bought white, I'll never know. Maybe cuz it goes with everything? Anyway, I bought a white t shirt on Sunday. Needed a replacement for the one I had on so I changed in the car. Much to the shock of my kids...we were far out in the parking lot and the van has tinted windows. What? So I must've worn that shirt for all of 3 hours. I went to put it on the next day and didn't notice til I got to work that there was little orange spots on it in three places. Okay, okay, no problem. After work, I took the kids to Super Saver to get milk (I really need to look into buying a cow - 5 gallons per week? That's like 20 bucks in just MILK!) All hail the grocery store free cookie. Chocolate with chocolate chips this time. The two older kid finished thier cookies in the store, but the baby had half left so I just put her in the car seat with it. I knew it would be messy, but so what. Took the recycling on the way home (remembered it because there was NO room for my gr

Settle Down

Well, things in my life are settling into a super busy crazy cycle. I have taken on a business that I'm working from home in addition to my full time job and life is good! I started recycling our plastics, paper, and cans at home and at work. I have replaced as much as I can in our house with environmentally responsible and safer alternatives. Ladies and gentlemen, I have a new crusade. I have started to learn about indoor air polution and the carcinogens that the major manufacturers of detergents put in thier products. It's really frightening to think about the cancer rate 100 years ago was 1/60 and now it's 1/3. What happened? Aren't we better educated now and have better technology? Well, what happened is we got lazy. In our best efforts to make things "better" we got a lap full of "worse". We take a pill for every ailment and get side effects from it so that we need more pills. We sit on our butts for a living munching on cheeseburgers and fries

Feeling Friday

For once, on a Friday, I don’t feel like I am going to die. I am very excited about going home tonight and having a nice night with my family without watching the clock wishing it were late enough for me to acceptably consider turning in. I’ve tried to embrace new concepts lately. For once in my life I’m trying to listen to somebody else and figure that other people, while possibly of an inferior intellect (!) do know something. So I decided that I don’t have to be the best at everything at every time. I have started to try to do one thing at a time and try to look at things on a smaller scale. Most of all, I have tried not to feel guilty when I can’t do it all. Last night I made two cakes (yes two, one for work and one for the hungry kids at home) and supper. I didn’t get much else done and when I went to bed there was crap all over the floor from Susan tearing the living room to shreds. I’ve been trying to remind myself that a lot of other people have a period of inactivity in

Die Hard

Okay, I am super sick of all the weird dreams that I have all the time. I started drinking Valerian Root tea before bed to be better relaxed. While that is knocking me on my butt and I am truly fallin asleep faster - I still dream wild and wooley all night long. Last night I was Bruce Willis. Not the old guy that they have now that looks his age but doesn't act it. I'm talking the Bruce Willis from Moonlighting . Remember that show? Well, I was more like the Bruce from Die Hard (the first one, not this Geriatric Die Harder crapolla ). Anyway, I was blowing stuff up, jumping form buildings, running from the cops, man I am TIRED this morning!! I went to bed around 10 ish and got up at 6 - so that's a straight 8, right? Feels like I didn't even sleep. And my back is sore. Oh, also, I think I'm tyring to off myself. I woke up with the sheet up over my head attempting to breathe it in twice last night. I removed it and went back to sleep but can't figure out why

Man Oh Man!

I'm trying to be more manly today. I decided that there was much merit in the way my husbands mind works. He is able to do one thing (yes, that's right only one) at a time. He is much calmer than I am most of the time and seems to do what he does rather well and much more thoroughly than I do. Example: Cleaning the kitchen - my husband does the dishes, dries them all and puts them away. He wipes off the counters, cleans the coffee pot and wipes down the stove, making sure to take off the little burner thingys and get under there. When he's done, it looks great! Me - I fill the sink with water and put in all the dishes that will fit. While that's filling, I go grab a load of laundry. On the way back by, I turn off the sink and go put the laundry in. While I'm downstairs I notice that the trash needs to be dumped in the laundry room. I don't grab it becasue my hands are full of a basket that just came out of the drier. I bring that upstairs and the tras

Another Weird Dream

Okay, this one isn't as good as driving a house, but here goes: I dreamed that I got picked up for shoplifting. I was standing out in front of Super Saver handing out free bags of noodles while holding Susan. I had told the kids that they could look at the video games nearby. I handed out my last box of whole wheat spaghetti and decided to call it a day. Instead of walking clear back to the aisle with the pasta, I just put it in my bag. I knew it was wrong somehow, but I was SO tired. This lady grabbed my arm and took me to the holding area. She told me that my children would have to be given over to state custody officials. I couldn't understand why they wouldn't call David to come and get the kids. I also wasn't surprised that I got in trouble for trying to get out the door with those noodles... What? I'm cracking up...

I Can Do Whatever I Want

I’m not really very good at my job. I don’t like what I do, so that has a lot of do with my half-ass-ism. I don’t like crunching numbers, data entry, or filing. I’m not really a detail oriented person, so the fact that I am responsible for data entry of payroll and payables makes me snicker a bit. I guess my desire to avoid a butt chewing outstrips my distaste for all things number-y. Good thing! Not that all that really matters. I mean, you have to have a job and it has to be for someone else, right. If you want any stability, retirement plan or health insurance you’re pretty much relegated to working for someone else who will take care of that for you while you punch the clock, do your time and go home to a house that is in chaos and a family you barely know because you spend more time awake with your boss. So if I don’t like what I do, I could go back to school, right? I always wanted to be a grade school teacher and a few years ago I made it half way to my degree. Had to s

Just a Vessel

It's late. I really should be in bed. I was on a training call and boy oh boy can us marketing people party down... Anyway, I wanted to post this to share what happened to me today. Chain reaction of good stuff. Somebody I know expressed a need today. While I wasn't able to help personally, I was able to point this person in the right direction and this need was met beyond both of our expectations. I felt like a messenger. I truly felt like a messenger of God's love. The situation was grave, the person had exhausted resources, the answer was right there, I only channeled information, but wow. What a great feeling of peace! And - with that great feeling of peace, I refrained from giving the finger to a person who was driving most inconsiderately in the parking lot at Target. I had to sit on my hand and swallow my teeth but the words and the gesture stayed inside...where it belongs. Besides, my 6 year old knows enough language. We are learning that some "naught

Color Coded

Life should be color coded. Wouldn’t it be great if all the bad stuff was bright red, safety orange or caution yellow and all the good stuff was a nice go-go green or cool blue. Like cheeseburgers and chocolate bars would be red, ice cream would be too. That guy that you wanted to date when you were 18 who had the tattoos and the motorcycle because he was “so cool” would have been safety orange with bright red hair. Hmmm, come to think of it, most vegi’s are green or have green on them…but so is pot. So I guess plants are a go – but not if you light them afire – then fire is red or orange, hence it is a no. Now if you water something it turns green so water = good. But if you give a plant to much water it will turn yellow…so there you go, moderation in all things. If you scratch an itch your skin will turn red – that is bad, take it from me, I have some really disgusting pics of the place on my foot that I scratched out of control. So scratching, poking, slicing skin= bad. Blood i

Feeling Citrique

Pretty good day today. Had a nice time at church this moring, grilled some brats for lunch, took the kids to the Y for a swim, picked up a nice rotisserie chicken for dinner and now I'm here typing away on my fa-fa-favorite peice of technology, ahhh...the laptop. Our sermon this morning was on Love. It seems that there are several different kinds of love - Pastor listed them but I can't remember all four. They range from the way you love your kids to the way you love your spouse. You love your friends, you love your nieghbor - and God loves you. And that's what I got out of it. God loves YOU. I guess I know in my head that he loves me to, but I don't really feel it, you know? I'm so hard on myself I guess I really don't think that even God loves me. And that's bad. You know that old saying that you can't love anyone until you love yourself...well really it's missing a step - you can't love yourself until you accept that God loves you. P