Sunday, February 28, 2010

This is Me Admitting Fatigue

Well, I have another stupid cold sore. Second one in less than six months. I get these when I'm stressed. Face is broken out to. Hmphf. What the heck is going ON with me??

I know I had a really physically hard week last week. Several days, I went to bed and my hands just ached. Washing dishes, folding laundry, changing diapers, picking up toys, dressing, undressing kiddos...my hands are chapped, and they get tired.

Yesterday I decided to drive 90 miles to my Mom's because I thought she needed some GrandBaby love. Her Mom is in "the home" and not doing well. Her siblings are far away and she is under a lot of pressure. Poor Mommy - I love her so. But, the prep - the drive up - the drive back - then went shopping with the kids for Star Wars models. Yawn...

Last night, Cam-Cam got up at 3, then 6:45. Felt so tired, couldn't even sing in church at first! Prayed and prayed for my attitude to change, I felt "dark" - got a hug from a nice huggy lady at church, one of my Sunday School kids made me a picture and voila! Back was a hurtin' real bad, but it got better as the morning wore on.

Yay, nap after church - right? Nope. To the grocery store, home, eat, clean up bedroom, fold clothes, clean kitchen, make bread, go to store for things forgotten earlier...yawn...

Okay, okay, okay, I admit it - I'm tired. I didn't have any supper because I couldn't think of anything to eat. The family had some leftovers. Nothing really looks good when dreaming of bed!

Not complaining, just blogging factual. Really wanted to workout tonight, but feeling beat so thought I should take the pass. Not looking forward to weigh in tomorrow. I'm sure I just dropped one little pound. Need more protein in my diet. Ordered some protein powder that is high fiber as well - we shall see.

Just tired and have the "don't give a crap" attitude. Must be time for bed.

Friday, February 26, 2010

But I Play One on TV

Life is not a TV show. Nor does my workout even closely resemble an exercise video. I have a nice collection of DVD's and VHS tapes that give much variety to my workouts. The fine, fit folks in those videos are fabulous guides. I've learned a ton about proper stretching and safe weight lifting form.

Last night when I was at the YMCA (or the ERETA as Susan calls it) I was on a treadmill right in front of the window. As the sun started to go down, I got a clearer and clearer look at that chubby housewife in the window. Sweat rolling down my face, mouth hanging open, pulling the reoccurring wedgie down from the ever after and pulling my t-shirt down from up and over my hips.

Not a pretty sight.

But then again, real people sweat. We turn red, we huff and puff. And so do those folks on the videos (if they were working to the perceived exertion that I am). I'm sure they cut those videos just right and keep the temp in the studio sub zero. That's the only way those girls could look that good, working that hard.

Anyway - just me thinking. TV is glittery, clean and bright. Babies just "appear" and everyone is pretty. Life is real. It's difficult and it takes work. But, unlike TV, if you follow The Instructions, the reward is infinitely more than you can ask for or imagine.

Sweet!


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

What's That?

Ever wonder what the word "organic" means? I mean, isn't everything that grows in the ground organic? I used to think so. I was all on board with healthier eating but thought that organic was a total sham.

In case you are a skeptic, like me, I have compiled a short list of what exactly it means when you see that a food is organic or natural on the label.

First, "Natural".

* As close to a natural state as possible
* Free of artificial ingredients, colors, preservatives, and non-natural chemicals
* Limited refined ingredients
* Responsibly packaged and produced

What does this mean for you? Well, it means that your crackers won't have yellow lake #6 in them, your flour won't be refined to non-nutrition, and the packing facility that it comes from won't be dumping the hydraulic fluid from the machines into a nearby stream.

Now, "Organic". This designation includes all of the preceding and:

*Grown and packaged to strict uniform standards and certified by the U. S. Department of Agriculture (USDA)
*Produced using sustainable farming methods
*Free of synthetic pesticides or fertilizers
*Free of irradiation, sewage sludge or genetically modified organisms (GMOs)
*Free of artificial antibiotics or growth hormones in milk, meat and poultry
*100% organic feed for livestock

Okay, okay, I'm not the brightest crayon in the pack - but what? If it's certified organic, then they CAN'T use sewage on it?? This IS food we are talking about, right? Yuck!!

Just thought I would pass this along. I am in the process, myself, of unpacking the wealth of information available on the topic.

I did learn that one of the reasons that they keep dairy cows on antibiotics all the time is due to the growth hormones that they have them on to increase their milk supply. This is attributed to increased incidence of mastitis (an infection in their udders). What a vicious cycle. Poor cows. Ouch.

If you can stomach it, check out the film Food, Inc. Educate yourself, do some reading, and find what the real sham is with regard to our food supply.

Knowledge = Power

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Plan...what plan?

Ah, Tuesday! For another 3 weeks it will still be my favorite day of the week. David is off work, we don't have much for obligations and, though we have 6 children running around, we get to enjoy each other's company.

Once a year, when the tax refund money rolls around, we all go out to a "fancy" restaurant. We don't limit (to much) what they order. Everyone gets a soda, we get an appetizer and even a dessert.

This year we planned to go to Red Lobster. The kids are adventurous eaters, and were SO excited to try some seafood. I looked up the nutritional information and had a general idea what I was going to get. I planned to keep my calories low today so that I could relax a bit tonight. I planned to order my food and take half home.

Before supper, we went to the Red Clover Market (as planned) to look at all the nifty whole foods. We got some organic onions, a jar of almond butter, and some organic soups that were on sale. Drove over to Red Lobster about 6:30 and Hungry.

The place was PACKED. We parked in the last available spot and walked up only to find the waiting room absolutely full of people. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't wait at restaurants. It's not that I'm to important or anything, it's just not that important that I eat there versus someplace else.

Well, and then there's waiting in standing room only with 4 children. NAH.

With plan thrown freshly out the window, we went across the street with our disappointed children to the new Chinese Buffet with Mongolian Grill. Yah, I know. We waited about 15min to be seated, and the place was really great. I enjoyed the Mongolian Grill. I made a dish so stinkin' hot that my face was on fire - oh man - that was so good!! I realized how absolutely sick I am of turkey sandwiches and yogurt. Bland with a capital B.

Groan...after the plate of Barn Burnin' Shrimp and Veggies, I did go up and get some fried goodies. One spring roll, one crab rangoon, and two dumplings. I had dessert as well and frankly, I am absolutely miserable. I went into this only having had 650kcal all day, so I'm sure I didn't bust the bank to badly, but the sodium content and the larger than usual volume consumed in one sitting is paining me.

First time off plan in 7 weeks. Not bad. Tomorrow I will need to concentrate on water consumption to flush out the dreaded sodium and I may try to squeeze in a workout during nap time.

At least I have a plan.

This is the cutest box of mac n cheese ever!  Tastey too!!

Monday, February 22, 2010

This is a Test

Another weigh in - another one stinkin' pound down. I'm tellin' ya - this slow path is getting me down. I REALLY didn't want it to take a year to loose all this weight. I was thinking by June when we go on vacation would be nice.

But progress is progress, nonetheless.

Another HORRIBLE day with our 7yr old DD. It took her nearly 2 hours to complete a 20 question chapter test. She had done so well on the chapter that we had actually skipped some overly redundant practice last week. She knows the material, she just refused to do the work.

After crying, bargaining, and straight out refusal, she handed me her test. She had chewed pieces out of it, poked holes in it with her pencil, crumpled it up, flattened it out again, used 3 different media to pen her answers and cried tears on it.

Sigh.

She scored a 90% - only missed two. Little fart.

Tomorrow is little boy's 9mo check up. Can't wait to see what he weighs. He ate more for lunch than our 2yr old. Seven Portabello filled raviolis and a bunch of green peas. Wow! He just loves regular food. I pop it in the food mill and grind it up - he eats anything and everything.

Done with my big mug o' green tea. Done with my grocery price spreadsheet. Sent out a couple of checks today. Kitchen's cleaned up. Grabbed some groceries, made a good supper. Didn't scream at Alahnnah today.

Guess I did okay.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Devil Is in the Details

Last night my husband pointed out something which got me thinking. This last few months has seen a string of injuries and irritations on my part. Nothing debilitating, but enough to upset the normal flow of the day.

Under attack.

I normally think of times of trial as being a way for God to draw you to him. While that is true, I may have a deeper meaning. An uglier, sneakier side of this.

From problems with my last pregnancy, a baby that wouldn't sleep for nuttin', recurring back issues and a head injury I've been through the mill. Having Momma sick or hurt puts a strain on the whole family. We need to eat, dishes need washed, kids need attention. I've, so far, been able to bounce back on nearly all accounts. It seems I've been able to pay attention to everything except for my marriage.

My husband gets to pull double duty when I'm down and never fails. But we have zero time alone together. By the time the kids go to bed, I exercise and have a snack, it's 9pm and I'm barely able to keep my eyes open to hear about his day. Our conversations are 99% centered around the children and I find that I don't say much sometimes because I don't want to sound like I'm complaining.

This is the fallout. The details. The chink in the armor that the Major Liar is trying to exploit. It just occurred to me last night that there is more going on than my personal struggle to cope. It has to do with the lack of time spent on cultivating my most important relationship here on Earth. The busyness, the fatigue, the challenging situations - they have all served to take my eyes off of my husband and put my focus anywhere else.

While Satan may be many things, he's not stupid. The best way to destroy things within a family is to shift it's focus. Mom and Dad have to be totally committed to each other first (with Christ in the middle), and their children second. When the shift happens, and they get "to busy" things will start to break down.

Time to make date nights a priority. Thanks to an upcoming schedule change, we will be sharing meals together again. I think it's going to be okay!




Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Broken Hearted

Wonder what God feels like when we disappoint him? When we know how to behave but we do wrong anyhow? I mean, he tells us over and over again NOT to do things, and we just do them anyhow - and suffer the consequences.

He might feel a lot like I'm feeling about my child today, only on a Global scale. Sad, frustrated, angry, hurt. It's a wonder grace exists at all. We serve a God who knows us and loves us anyway. I'm just a Mom, I find forgiveness difficult sometimes.

For the last two weeks, our 7yr old daughter has done her very best to disobey me at every turn. She waits til I leave the room and tries to do things I just told her not to. When told to go to her room, she throws herself on the floor, screams and cries and has an absolute fit. Last Monday I spanked her. I'm done with that. It no longer has any lasting effect, and I can't seem to do it without anger, so I can't do it.

But she needs to learn that her behavior is not acceptable. She is one that no punishment ever phases. Nothing I can take away from her or restrict her from will resonate enough to cause a change in her behavior.

So instead of screaming and hollering or beating her to a pulp (don't call CPS, its just a metaphor) I am removing her from the situation. She's having fun up there coloring now, we'll see how long til she wants to be a member of the family again.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Give Me a Break

Sometimes you just need a break, ya know?

Today was trucking along fine, we decided to have a Science Day for school to catch up on some bookwork we've been putting off. The babies DID NOT nap today. Both of them fought it and fought it and slept for 20 minutes and woke up again.

During one of those quiet times, Liam made home made hot chocolate for his sister and himself. Alahnnah decided to take advantage of my captive attention and had hers on a blanket on the floor. Oh yeah, she spilled it. Then I told her to pick up the blanket to prevent it from soaking on to the carpet and...she shook it like a freaking beach blanket.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Sigh.

Then, my weigh in was just a bunch of bologna. Down 8 tenths of a pound!? C'mon. That's it, I'm cutting some more calories. I'm fairly sure going down to 1400 will kill me, but I will leave a good looking corpse.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Days

Hooray for the day in honor of all thing mooshy - gooshy! My dear sweet David brought home some flowers for me and we got each other cards. I hear tell there is a new frying pan coming in the mail as well. Yes - I asked for a new frying pan for Valentine's Day.

I had long ago set a goal to get my wedding ring back on by today. Last night I slipped it on with no problems! Yay! Um...I can't get it off now, but hey - it's on again and that's where it will stay. I'm sure it will just get looser and looser. It's not cutting off the circulation or anything - so it's okay.

Today we ventured out to eat for the first time in about 6 weeks. Anything but Subway is a crap shoot when it comes to counting calories. We went to Golden Corral, ie. The Trough. I did really well - had a salad with some grilled chicken on it, a little rice, ONE onion ring, skipped the rolls, skipped the taco bar, skipped the yummydelicious mashed potatoes. I did have dessert, but I kept it very small and shared it with Cameron...hey, he ate a ton of it. ;)

I tried to force a nap for all "by Decree of the Queen" but it didn't work out. I did a brisk 40min walk at a good incline for my exercise today. Yesterday I ran and worked uber-hard so I decided on an easier day today. I'm hoping for a good weigh in tomorrow. I am sooo close to that next "decade" of numbers - t'would be a shame to miss it!!


Saturday, February 13, 2010

Can't Like It

Our 2.5 year old has a saying that encompasses her overarching disdain for many things.

Can't like it.

Susan, eat your supper. Can't like it. Su - put your jammies on. Can't like it. Susan, do you need to use the potty?? Can't like it.

This got me thinking about certain diet foods that I just CAN'T like. I've tried. I've wasted money trying to cut calories in the oh so very wrong places. Here are a few of the diet foods that I just can't like.

- Fat free mayo. May as well spread glue on your sandwich.
- Fat free cheese. A little frightening that it doesn't melt. Looks (and tastes) like plastic.
- Fat free cottage cheese. Curds and whey, sort of. More like chunks and glue.
- Rice cakes. I have tried the ones with the microscopic chocolate chips and the ones dusted with cheese, sprayed with sugar - can't do it.

For all of my previous dislike for fat free dairy, I do enjoy skim or nonfat milk. When we run out and I have to use 2% I can really tell the difference. I can handle low fat cheeses and dairy, mayo, etc. But the nonfat stuff is icky.

I would rather have 1/2 a serving of lowfat cheese than a full serving of the nonfat kind. But that's just me.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Fanfare for Friday

I'm very excited and a little apprehensive. I hired a sitter to watch the kids once a month so David and I can go out for supper. Tonight is her trial shift - just an hour or so while I go to the grocery store. I hired someone for several reasons.

I wanted someone who was 20 or so and in college, preferably in a family related field. I wanted her to have her own transportation and be able to stay until 10pm. I also require - and this is very important - someone to serve and clean up supper, put the kids to bed, and pick up the living room. I want us to come home to a clean, quiet house and I'm willing to pay for it!

The gal I found meets all of those criteria. So I told Liam to keep an eye on her tonight and we'll see how it goes!