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Showing posts from March, 2013

The Grumpy Hours

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I don't know what's wrong with me.  Maybe it's: Seemingly never-ending winter My inability to sleep Training for a Marathon Easter festivities and preparations Or maybe I've just become a terrible grouch.  Lately I have two times during the day that I just can't seem to pull out of my funk. Time #1 Wake-up until I drop the girls off at school. Lately, I haven't slept well.  I started Melatonin and that helped for about 10 days.  So when I wake up in the morning, I'm not thrilled.  I take our Freshmen to school and come home to get the other kids ready for the day.  Our 3 year old has often woken with "shrillness" and our 5 and 11 year olds are nonplussed that school (and winter) is STILL going on. I feel badly for not being that Sun-shiney Mommy in the mornings...but frankly, just knocking back the coffee and getting to the point where I can make complete sentences is a victory. Time #2 4pm to 5:30pm I am a horrible Mother.  W

Dear New Mom

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I just wanted to take the time to put something positive out there and say some encouraging words to fellow Mothers.  I take care of children whose Mothers are first-timers and there are lots and lots of young Mothers at our church.  I feel for them.  It's SO very hard.  When I had my first child in 1998, the internet was around, but I certainly didn't have a computer to access if from.  I had my Mom's advice over the phone, my physician and a book. When I look around the internet of today, I see more division than unity over Mothering.  There are the Natural Mothers, the Working Moms, the SAHM's, the WAHM's, the Helicopter Moms, the Attachment Group, the Detachment Group, and every single sect in between. Oh and the woman that wrote the "Dear Mom on the iPhone" thing.  Ugh.  She probably judges me when I stop at the store after a long run...next up "Dear Mom that Smells Bad."  Judgy-wudgy woman. For all of the differences, these groups h

Sweet Sixteen

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Since this is my first time training for a Marathon, I am achieving new personal best distances nearly each time that I run long.  I can't believe I made it, but I ran SIXTEEN MILES!! It was really the hardest thing that I have ever done.  And, strangely enough, it wasn't miles 15 and 16 that were the hardest.  That's what I would have anticipated...but it was the miles in between that almost had me in tears. I had beautiful weather on Friday.  I headed out about 10am with sunshine, 47 degrees and about a 5mph wind with a few gusts.  Shorts and a t-shirt were no problem. I try to plot my courses with a pit stop about every 5 miles or so.  This allows me to fill my water bottle or use the restroom should the need arise (and it always arises).  I kind of overestimated my first stop and didn't  hit the bend in the trail til about 7 miles.  I ran from 27th and Vine to 14th and Old Cheney (through the trail system) to stop at a gas station there. Oh, the dreaded f

Not So Very Long Ago

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I'm a fan of persistence.  Forward motion.  Not stopping, even when you stumble, fall down, get run over by the bus/wagon, and have to stand up again. Being successful doesn't involve being charmed, or having natural ability.  Success isn't given.  Victory cannot be purchased.  No, most times its the quantitative effort of many years or even a life time of effort. I, recently, ran across this post entitled A Long Way Back.   This was the first time I had run again after a very long, very *heavy* pregnancy with our 4th child.  It was my first continuous run, again, after many months of run/walking and losing about 30lbs. Reading this post, I could remember this day as clearly as if it were yesterday!  Here's what struck me most: - I weighed 190lbs at the time.  I am 5'4" and that's a lot for me. - That weight was back to where I started when I had gotten pregnant. - This was the first I had run a full mile.  I had done a progressive run/walk pr

Finding My Strong

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I'm so happy to write this today!   Last Monday , I had to give a positive spin on another disappointing situation with my training.  Since I signed up to run my very first Marathon, things have not gone off without a hitch.  However, this Monday, I get to report something that went very well! I knew that I was ready to run a brand new longest distance, but this is my first marathon so I've had some new muscle twinges and pangs that have made me cautious - and quite friendly with my foam roller.  I wasn't entirely sure about the weather - the forecast showed low 40's and a 70% chance of rain most of the day.  This didn't seem like the kind of run you can just lace up and hit the road for.  Things need to be right. So...I weighed all of my options and ran fourteen miles on the treadmill.  Murphy's Laws are for real, folks, because it didn't rain at all on Saturday. To those, like my hubby, who rode and ran outdoors that day - you're welcome. Speak

Success Failure and Happiness

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Oh boy, I sure wish that I had a wonderful report for you on my very first 14 mile run.  The truth is, that I only made it 7 miles. :( On Friday night we all went out to eat.  My husband got a bonus at work, so the six of us lived it UP at The Golden Corral.  With four children, a buffet contains the single best odds for percentage of satisfaction. And they have a chocolate fountain.  Boom. We all got what we wanted to eat and I even got some guacamole! Yay!  As we were coming out of the restaurant, I stepped down and a white hot pain shot through my calf muscle.  Hmm...that was weird.  I stretched it a little and my muscle just tightened into a ball.  Hmm... We went to another store and walked around (Friday night as a family of 6 - rock on!) and I had a tough time not limping.  By the time we got home, I was rubbing down with BioFreeze and stressing over my long run the next day. Things seemed a little better on Saturday.  I took Susan to gymnastics, and came home to mo

Tell Me What I Am To You

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Housekeeper. Cook. Creative Financier. Care provider. These are labels I use to describe myself. Ashamed. Not good with feelings. Angry. These are labels I would use to describe myself sometimes.  On "those" days.  When the past just won't stay in the past. Runner. Friend. Wife. Momma. Daycare Lady. Sci-Fi Enthusiast. Reader. These are labels others might use on me. One thing is for sure - these things will all pass away one day.  When I am dead and gone it won't matter what others think of me or even what I ever thought of me.  There's only one label I need to remember. Beloved.   No matter what I ever wear on that terrible chain around my neck.  No matter what awful word I use to identify with on any given day.  Independent of my thoughts or anyone else's.  God loves me.  He wrote a book that spans eternity to tell me just that. That I belong to Him. It doesn't matter what I've done.  It only matters what I will do with t