Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Grumpy Hours

I don't know what's wrong with me.  Maybe it's:

Seemingly never-ending winter

My inability to sleep

Training for a Marathon

Easter festivities and preparations

Or maybe I've just become a terrible grouch.  Lately I have two times during the day that I just can't seem to pull out of my funk.

Time #1 Wake-up until I drop the girls off at school.

Lately, I haven't slept well.  I started Melatonin and that helped for about 10 days.  So when I wake up in the morning, I'm not thrilled.  I take our Freshmen to school and come home to get the other kids ready for the day.  Our 3 year old has often woken with "shrillness" and our 5 and 11 year olds are nonplussed that school (and winter) is STILL going on.

I feel badly for not being that Sun-shiney Mommy in the mornings...but frankly, just knocking back the coffee and getting to the point where I can make complete sentences is a victory.

Time #2 4pm to 5:30pm

I am a horrible Mother.  When my school age kids walk in the door things get all grumpy-o-licious again.  I still have my daycare sweeties, am in the end parts of fixing dinner, and now need to crack the whip over home work and instrument practice.  It's like the life is being sucked out of me.  I just feel absolutely exhausted and want to be struck with a heavy object to be put out of my misery.

It's not the two little boys screaming through the closed up house (freaking WINTER) acting like Power Rangers.  It's not the Kindergartner resisting writing the numbers 1-50 for the 700th time.  It's not the teen relating stories of maxing out on bench or squat or whatever.  It's not the 11yo crying big fat crocodile tears over having to practice her flute.

IT'S EVER-FREAKING-THING AT THE SAME TIME

Okay.  I'm okay, now.

I feel badly that all I can do is order them around and grunt some semblance of approval in their general direction.  Once daycare is over and dinner is served, I'm okay again...sort of.  But man, am I ever grouchy right now.   I'm doing my best to unpack this attitude of mine.  It isn't helping anyone.  I know that I need to start sleeping better, but not sure HOW to do that.  I actually started taking 2 Melatonin...which is probably why I feel like I got scraped out of a barrel in the mornings...But I am an active gal - I NEED SLEEP.  And stressing over not sleeping = not sleeping.

*sigh*

It's now 10:45.  I better try to go to bed.

2 comments:

  1. Doing your job without sleep is, no doubt, the culprit. I don' know how to help you with this. You are NOT a terrible mother. You carry out your duties tirelessly, despite how you feel. This supposed to be the best part of your life - raising your children, and loving your spouse. Unfortunately, it is also the most STRESSFUL time in your life. Please try to stop beating yourself up. I love you and pray for you to get more sleep.

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  2. (((HUGS))) I go thru times like this too, and I do really think that the reasons behind it are probably different between mommas. For me, alot of times it's the Lord's way of showing me that my priorities are off...maybe I'm not getting enough sleep cuz I'm chosing to surf the net to long at night, or get up too early because I just HAVE to get that workout in...maybe I'm not focusing enough on my nutrition cuz those cookies are SO much tastier than that salad, maybe its that I'm spending too much time online during the day and not enough on playing with my kidlets...whatever it is, I pray that you would get clear direction from Him on where to go!

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