Monday, March 18, 2013

Dear New Mom

I just wanted to take the time to put something positive out there and say some encouraging words to fellow Mothers.  I take care of children whose Mothers are first-timers and there are lots and lots of young Mothers at our church.  I feel for them.  It's SO very hard.  When I had my first child in 1998, the internet was around, but I certainly didn't have a computer to access if from.  I had my Mom's advice over the phone, my physician and a book.

When I look around the internet of today, I see more division than unity over Mothering.  There are the Natural Mothers, the Working Moms, the SAHM's, the WAHM's, the Helicopter Moms, the Attachment Group, the Detachment Group, and every single sect in between.

Oh and the woman that wrote the "Dear Mom on the iPhone" thing.  Ugh.  She probably judges me when I stop at the store after a long run...next up "Dear Mom that Smells Bad."  Judgy-wudgy woman.

For all of the differences, these groups have one thing in common.

A child.

Children do not change.  Yes, I know you may argue with me on that, but hear me out.  Children in Biblical times have the same needs as the children of today.  They need to be hugged, and kissed and squeezed real tight.  They need to be told "no" and "yes" and "here's why."  Children need to be looked at and paid attention to and left alone to play.  Children need to know that when they wake up scared or wet or thirsty, that someone will be there...and if they do it 4 times in a two hour period that someone will be there to chastise them.

If you are paying attention to your child, you are doing it right.

If you refuse to capitulate to your toddler's terrorism, you are doing it right.

If you worry about things like vaccinations, plaque and clean underpants, you're doing it right.  If you haven't had a full nights sleep, been out with your husband, or had your hair cut in a year, you're doing it right.

Heck, if you HAVE had all those things in the last year, you're probably still doing it right!

The point is, that there is only one right way to raise a child.  One way and one way only.  With love.  Love doesn't always involve giving what they want, making them happy, or being there for every single fart and cough.  Love is...  Love, well, it's more like... Sort of...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
--1 Corinthians 13:4-7

So, if you love your kids, you're doing it right.  Even if love includes letting them play on the swings while you email your Mom or read the news on your iPhone.  :D

5 comments:

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    1. Thank you! I hope it encouraged you. :)

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  2. Great post! Moms definitely have their platforms now to judge other moms! It's a challenge though not to judge people, we do it automatically whether we think so or not. I think the key is to changing the mindset of the judgement. If you really think something bad is going on, there's nothing wrong with saying something. In a lot of cases nothing really wrong is going on, but it's just situational. I haven't read the mom on the iPhone article, but I can guess the mom on the iPhone just needed a break.

    I can't wait to have my own kiddos to worry over! ;)

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  3. Found the original post and her re: post: http://4littlefergusons.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/re-dear-mom-on-the-iphone/#

    I thought it was interesting and she says she was talking to herself too...simply pointing out how much media can take over and interfere with raising children.

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    1. Yes, she did a good job of trying to back up the truck - but the damage is done. She says she wasn't talking about anyone specific, and was even speaking to herself, but she was being NEGATIVE. I believe that will help exactly no one. She IS right about the aspect of the technological age, but being snarky and judgmental isn't a healthy way to express that. I also believe that it IS possible to reserve judgement when encountering folks. As we grow in our Christian walk, we can see people more and more as Christ sees them - beautiful and full of potential.

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