Saturday, July 31, 2010

Terminal Uniqueness

In the last few years I've started paying more attention to my body and it's needs. This has probably been the best tool for best health that I've run across. Everyone is different - you read that all the time. But there are many "recommendations" that seem to lump people into categories by age and weight - fine - but you still have to listen up to fine tune for your uniqueness.

I'm a sleeper. I LOVE to sleep. I could seriously sleep 10 hours every single night. I could go to bed around 10pm and sleep until 8am, no problem. My husband, on the other hand, nearly shudders at the thought of languishing under the covers for that amount of eternity. Hubs is good on 6 or so hours, I need 7-8.

I need food. Now, if you use a basic weight loss equation - you need 10 calories per pound of body weight for maintaining your weight. For me - that's 175 x 10 = 1750. To loose one pound per week you need to have a calorie deficit of 3500 (or 500 per day). So 1750 - 500 = 1250.

No WAY. 1250 calories per day would KILL me faster than the weight would come off! Of course, you have to take exercise (running 12-15mi/wk) and lifestyle (daycare provider) into account...but still. I don't think 1250 would work for me even if I sat on my butt all day!

*btw - I don't mind telling you how much I weigh...add 50 to that figure and you get what I weighed last summer!* BIG SMILE!!

So what I am saying, is that while reasonable recommendations are a good foundation for your healthy lifestyle, they are just that. You can't follow a lifestyle plan and become somber, grouchy and constantly won't work and you WON'T loose weight. Stress causes the body to hang on to the fat.

Listen to your body. Take things slow. Use the RDI suggestions on diet websites as a guide. Take your time and don't change things up to fast. If you are feeling sluggish and grumpy, start with the simple things. More sleep, more water, and a little more to eat each day (maybe 150cal/day). Whatever you do - don't throw your hands up and give up because you have/are ......fill in condition here...... and are unique.

Everyone is.

One Month Later

This last few days, the swelling in my foot and ankle has become less and less, finally!  The nail bed where the toenail was removed is pink and healthy, and it looks like things are nearly back to normal!  What a haul.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Thick Morning Run

I wonder where the term "sweating my butt off" originated. Furthermore, is there any validity to it? If ever there were a cliche that I wished were true it's this one! I headed out for a 3 mile "do-over" this morning and the weatherbug app on my phone said 87 degrees. When I stepped out the front door the only word I can describe the atmosphere with is "thick."

I used to only bring hydration with me on runs over 4 miles, but lately I've needed a full 20oz bottle of electrolytes on all of my runs. A few months ago, we purchased this Nathan Hydration Belt. This thing has been well worth every penny this summer! If you do any walking or running out in the heat, this little baby will be your BFF. There are fancier models, but this one does the job.

There was a slight conundrum with the spout leaking. I normally fill it with water, or Sustain the night before and refrigerate for use in the morning. Last night, my brilliant husband solved the problem. He went out for 5 miles around 8pm and didn't have time to chill his water. He came back and reported that it didn't leak a bit...seems chilling the bottle stiffened up the spout making it unable to fully close. This morning, I used chilled water from the fridge to pour into the room temp bottle - worked great, and no leaks!

Happy sweating, heh-heh.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Total of Choices

I can't understand, standing on this side of childhood, why a kid would want things that cause them pain. Our 3-year-old has started telling me "but I WANT to be ouchie!" when I tell he something is hot...or "I WANT a sunburn" when I tell her we have to come in from the pool. Today we were driving down the street and she told me to go faster. I explained that we have to follow the rules or else we will get hurt. She very quickly said "But I want to go faster and I WANT to get hurt."

Making bad choices in life is like saying "I WANT to be hurt." Poor eating and sleeping habits, smoking, over spending, all have consequences. They may not all be immediate or obvious right away - but every choice yields a result. And every bad choice will get you in the end.

Good choices are even harder though. Eat right, exercise, do your best to loose those pounds and only see a 1 pound loss on the scale at a time. All those good choices don't add up real fast. Hard to keep making good choices when you don't see instant results.

That's when it's time to stop thinking like a child. A 3 year old can only see the very instant of her life. The "right now" of her desires. She doesn't consider how painful a sunburn is or how costly an auto collision can be. It's up to us, as adults, to consider her future and put down rules.

That is why there are rules for living. Not to suck all the fun out of life, but to protect us from the total of our choices. God tells us not to lie so we won't be seen as a liar, not to steal so we won't be distrusted and written off a thief, not to commit adultery so we do not bear those emotional scars. Of course these things also hurt others, so in these instructions are protections for others as well.

I digress. I can't think of a good way to wrap this up other than to say that I'm glad I finally found some rules. When I lived by the "if it feels good, do it" mantra, I had nothing but trouble as a result from my total choices.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Ready to Do More!

Today marks a fairly important milestone in my 2nd attempt to loose nearly 90lbs. First of all, I passed the 50lbs lost mark - and more importantly I am now back to the weight I was in 2008 when I ran the Lincoln Half Marathon. What a fantastic feeling! I weigh daily, so I was confident by Saturday that I would have this number by today - but my brain speaks "official-eze" and doesn't count any weigh in but the one on Monday.

Unfortunately, today also marks the first serious migraine headache that I've had in recent years. I think the last one was when I was pregnant with Cameron (who is 15mo old). I've had several whoppers since starting the Lupron Depot injection for my endo - but none this bad. I go back to the doc on Wednesday for my 2nd injection, so I will let her know. For now - it sucks to be me. At least I only have five kids today...

Friday, July 23, 2010

Blessed to Be the Giver

In my effort to simplify and de-clutter our house, I started on the "hard" part of the basement this week. Hard for a couple of reasons. Lots of boxes to carry up the stairs...AND...lots of things to give away. Baby clothes, maternity clothes, nursing supplies. Hauled it all upstairs, listed it on and out the door it went!

Even though I felt a little twinge when I gave those items away, it felt good. I liked being able to pass things on to those in need. When I had my first two babies, I relied on the kindness of others to clothe and surround them with needed items.

I'm on a sort of quest to simplify my life. I have lots and lots shoes I haven't worn in years, I have 10 pairs of pants that I only wear 4 of, I have a cabinet full of "stuff" in the hallway that I'm not sure even what's in there! I have cooking items that are duplicates, more coats and jackets than one person should have and jewelry that I never wear.

I'm going to get rid of it. All of it! I don't wear by 3 bottoms and 5 tops all week. I only wear 2 pairs of shoes (my Birks and my Asics) and I tend to use the same cook wear each day. So why hold on to all of it??

I don't know! I promise to take my "downsizing" slowly, though. If you know me at all - you know that I do everything fast and furious. I promise I will start by only giving away what we are not using. Then I will start on my clothes...then everything else!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Tuesday, right?

I loose track of the days. DH's schedule changes frequently, so his days off are sometimes different. It was Tuesday for a long time, now it is Wednesday. No matter to me really, it's just that I don't really know what day it is. I have all the same daycare kids on Tuesday as I do on Wednesday so I get lost in the days going by.

I had a very difficult run today. Looking at how the rest of the day played out, I think I was dehydrated. I headed out about 6 to do three miles "real quick" and figured I didn't really need any water for that short of distance. It was 70 degrees and a little humid. Normally my heart rate freaks a little that first half mile or so and then I find a Happy Pace and it settles in the 145 - 150 zone (75 - 80% of max). Today I had a heck of a time getting it under 160 (88% of max). Did I walk? Of course not. I ran as slow as I possibly could to prevent myself from passing out and completed the run with an average HR of 157.

Not cool.

I was totally wiped out all morning long. I drank and drank and drank water and by the lack of *elimination*, deduced that inadequate hydration was to blame for the suck-ish pace time and overall feeling of the life force leaving my body. Eesh.

The kids were good today. Money's a little tight, so the snack options aren't as broad this week. The Little don't complain, but The Biggers get to wearing on me with the spoiled attitude. Ritz crackers, string cheese, yogurt, apples and bananas...good grief - if that's not enough variety I don't know what is! They are used to having granola, nuts, and popcorn - but those things just didn't make the "priority list" this week.

It's all okeydokey. Kids need to learn that situations change, and doing without your Blue Diamond Smokehouse Almonds for afternoon snack ain't gonna kill ya. Some adults I know could take a lesson (me!).

Monday, July 19, 2010

Running as a Worship Experience

Yesterday was Sunday and I was so very glad to start it out as a normal Sunday with my long run. Now that word "long" has now become rather relative, as yesterday's 4 miles used to be my "daily run." But I digress...

I had my typical "I don't wanna, why the heck am I out here, I shoulda stayed in bed..." first mile or so. I'm just shuffling along and my foot was pretty swollen and painful still. After I had to walk the first hill I got pretty irritated with the state of my running and began the self pity mile....mile 2.

At the halfway mark, I turned around feeling pretty good and very grateful that I had decided to let all creatures great and small pass me and take it easy. Plotting my future training schedule, I was mentally punishing myself for the 2 weeks that I couldn't run and the loss of fitness. Feeling very irritated with myself and why can't I just get faster!?

That's when this song came on in my Mp3 rotation:

As soon as Mr. Agnew sang "Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down over me..." it started to rain. Like a flood I thought of all the bad choices I have made to abuse my body. Smoking, drug use, horrible diet, years of being overweight and inactive. These things could have caused permanent damage!

But no. I received GRACE. For some reason, I was spared disease and destruction so that I could go out and run...complaining all the while about my crummy pace time. Then I'm running and crying, and feeling like I could have run forever. The rain was just falling gently and I felt so grateful to be out there, with a body that can run. It really helped to put my little leg infection into perspective.

I am stubborn. I fall down, I get knocked down, I trip, stumble and falter. I don't stay down. I have the God given strength to keep getting back up, to keep starting over, never quit, never give up. For that I am grateful. I will try to celebrate accomplishment more, no matter how small I may think it is.

Friday, July 16, 2010


Not sure why my foot and ankle are still swollen...hurts like heck.  At least the fire in the front of my leg is out!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Art of Compromise

I finally got back to some exercise this morning! Although I settled for a brisk walk on the treadmill - it was an adequate compromise. I actually burned some good chub by cranking up the incline.

Yesterday at the library I struck a compromise with our oldest daughter. She has fought me on independent reading time since she could read. She's very good at reading, but just like everything I WANT her to do, she resists.

I started thinking about it and it struck me that reading is just like exercise. People say they hate exercise. I used to hate it too! But I found something that I liked to do and it wasn't so bad anymore. I realized I may have to loosen some of my restrictions on her exposure to popular media to get her to read.

She always wants these Junior Novels from the Library on a Popular Teen Singer. One of Alahnnah's good friends just goes nuts for this little Half Dressed Harlot and has everything with her printed on it from underwear to a sleeping bag. I guess I didn't mind the Particular Singer, until this last year or so when she got a little older...and a lot bolder.

I've stood my ground for two years. No "music" by her, nothing on DVD or from Netflix, no clothing, no magazines, and no books. I mean, Alahnnah is EIGHT YEARS OLD. She doesn't need a star complex. see where this is going. At the Library, I let her get a book with Miss Thang on the cover. She read voraciously yesterday. She begged me to let her read more before bed last night. This morning she was reading before breakfast. She finished the book before lunch today!!

She did get another book at the Library - a Petal Fairy book. I'm hoping that I've sparked at least a 'like' of reading....and that it doesn't back fire into hounding me for more Pop Star crap. I just don't think that an 8yr old little girl should be trying to wear makeup, piling on the jewelry and dancing around shaking her money maker.

For heaven's sake - she still sleeps with her blankie and plays in the tub! I won't get started on how I feel about popular media and how it is largely responsible for things like younger and younger teen pregnancies and lower self esteem in females from age 5 to 95...maybe another day.

My goal is to redirect...stay strong...and pray, pray, pray that I didn't mess up big time just to get her reading. Compromise. Scary.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Strange Things Afoot

I admit, I said it. The one thing that always boils my blood when other women say it - and boy do they say it! The sentence that I made sure to say in front of my sweet husband, because he would have never believed I had uttered the words otherwise. Somebody, please slap me around...I verbalized...

"I am SO bored."

That's right folks. After sitting in nearly the same spot for the last 10 days, I have exhausted all the offerings of the printed and projected modes of entertainment. I have caught up on all the old magazines I didn't have time for when they came. I have watched more Sponge Bob, Avatar - The Last Airbender, and Wonder Pets than one person ever should. I think the kids and I have all lost IQ points.

My rear end is beginning to take on the texture of the couch and my field of vision is so limited that I almost forgot that we have a garden out back. I have long pleaded with the Lord for rest, and after the busiest darn June on the history books, I got it.

Thank you, Lord.

But some weird things happen when you are sedentary. Going form 1hr of heavy workouts 5 days a week, to nuttin - zip - zilch, has messed with my head. Last night I cried to my husband because I was afraid of yet another social situation. I'm inwardly terrified of social situations - and ones with women my own age specifically, that's not the big secret, but...

Crying?? W. T. H.

Sigh. So I will chalk that one up to the fact that I haven't had a good shot of endorphins (can you buy those on eBay?) for almost 2 weeks, and just let it go. I am so anxious for Tuesday - I'm going to try to do some walking on the treadmill. I would love to go out on the trail, but don't want to get a mile out and have to limp home.

Things are getting better, but very slowly. I was very excited to go to church with the family this morning, but am home anyway. After getting dressed and putting on makeup and doing my hair, looking at doing anything more than elevating this throbbing left lower limb was sounding mighty un-fun.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Visibly Better

Thanks to all the help I had, allowing me to stay off my feet for a week, today my cellulitis infection looks much better!

Friday, July 9, 2010

The Hives and a Fat Lip

Despite the title of this post, today was a better day. Liam mowed the front yard and cleaned the floors in the living room. Alahnnah cleaned up the dishes and played nicely with her sister. There was a marked reduction in the fighting between the two older kids.


I think my leg may have turned a corner. Albeit a very W-I-D-E turn. I was in a great deal of pain this morning. Stabbing versus the normal burning and elevation was not helping. As the day wore on the pain has subsided. I even went in the play room and got some dog pile time with The Littles.

I had a few hives this morning in the cricks of my arms. I was afraid it was going to get bad like it did last summer. I had to go get a shot at the ER to calm it down. It was HORRIBLE. All over my face, the tops of my thighs were just cherry red because they all ran together. Nursing a baby when you have hives really stinks. FYI.

I thought I had escaped a bad bout as the few that I had were all gone by lunch time. Nope. This evening I had a little itch on my arm, then on my back...stupid Bactrim. I took some Benedryl to ease symptoms, but that's about all you can do.

Cameron was so cute tonight. He went in his room and reached his chubby little hand waaay into the crib through the bars and grabbed his blankie. He walked around with it around him. He laid down on the floor and hugged and rolled with it. He put it over his head and walked around with it like a little blue ghostie...

And then he fell down and busted his lip. Boo! Dis-Like! Poor kid. He was just having fun and it all went to heck. I gave him some Tylenol and tried to clean it up. Its just up under the top lip. He wouldn't let me really look at it - but it quit bleeding quickly so I think it's okay. I almost cried a little FOR him, but I guess by the 4th baby I'm confident that he will recover quicker than I will.

Mark it on the calendar and stay tuned for pictures...Cameron's First Fat Lip.

Man...I can't wait 'til I can start training again...I need something else to think (complain) about!


I am DIS-sastisfied with the progress my leg has made this week.  Just for the record, I am also quite dissatisfied with the lack of attention I have received from my doctor.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

Remember this?

I thought of this show and it's theme song today while having a "Bad Alahnnah Day." She spent more time in her room today than she did downstairs with the rest of us. I decided that removing her from the situation in addition to counsel is the best thing to do to deter the behavior .

Spanking her has never worked. Taking away a favorite toy, restricting access to TV or computer at her designated times, time out, stern words, screaming and hollering...none of that has ever proven to yield any other result than MY utter exhaustion.

She hates to be separated from the action. So - that's what I did. She spent from 9:30 to 11:00am in her room for screaming at her sister (I mean SCREAMING). It was going to be a 15 minute "cool down" stint, but she rolled her eyes at me and told me that "wouldn't work anyway."

*head exploding*

This afternoon, she and her brother were doing chores - she in the bathroom and he in the toy room - and she threw a shampoo bottle at him. Now, I'm not saying that her brother was, no, no...but reactions like that are violent and unacceptable. That got her sent to her room for for what started out as an hour - but since the fighting didn't stop and continued while I was on the phone - she was up there til supper.

Time for the good.

Cameron was an absolute delight today. I'm still seated much of the time, and that baby brought me books to read to him, sat next to me on the couch to have his snack and just crawled and loved all over me. There were moments when I felt like the sun had broken through the roof of the house and shone the brightest on he and I alone.

This evening we had a family talk. We used "I feel _______ when..." statements, and in the end Alahnnah actually told her brother that she loved him. She apologized to me and we were all able to start over.

Peace. Being loved. Feeling all is right with the world. Thank you Lord for showing me some of the good qualities in my children while one little stinker was showing me the bad.

Is It Better? Maybe a Little.

Well, it doesn't seem to have made great strides since yesterday.   Again, it is better in the morning which is great!  Today I will not over do it and suffer at night.  I'm learning!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Common Ground

What could I (a 34yr old woman) possibly have in common with an 18yr old young man? Well other than the same Mom and Dad...not much. My youngest sibling is a great kid, athletic, intelligent and good hearted. Okay - maybe we have more in common than I thought... ;)

Recently he told me he would like to run the Lincoln Marathon with Dave and me in May of next year. I am SO excited to hear that he has an interest in running! With the marathon being 10 months away, I'm very confident that he will be able to train for and run the whole's me that I'm worried about!

I found a 5k in his city on Labor Day weekend and downloaded Hal Higdon's 5k Training Schedule to give to him. He's a football player, so he is good at following a nutrition and training schedule. Last night we did some texting back and forth to talk about how our training is going. Mine - at a standstill right now - but his is coming right along!

I guess I'm just stoked to have something in common. I'm excited about running with him in his first 5k. I know his pace is faster than mine, but how cool will it be to have my baby bro at the finish line?

Pretty cool.

On The Mend

You can see where the redness has reduced in surface area.  The nurse drew around it yesterday.  I have my foot wrapped to try to reduce swelling.  Minus the worst hot flash I've ever had today (thank you Lupron) I'm feeling a bit better!  I am dreaming of taking a 1 mile walk on Friday.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Enjoying My Gifts

I will now run down the many benefits to having a nasty, debilitating infection on my leg. After reading this, you to may want to go out and have your big toe smashed, the nail removed, and then follow it up with cellulitis in your leg.

Well, maybe. Maybe not.
Here goes...

I get to sit and rest all the time! I haven't washed a dish in 4 days!! I have not hauled any laundry, nor folded any clothes. I have been able to keep up on all of my friends FaceBooks, Tweets, and Tubes de You.

People bring food to the house and give me extra hugs. They offer to help me and pray on my family's behalf. I can go to bed before 9pm without any flack. I haven't worried about bettering my 5k time, nor has my left knee given me one bit of trouble this last week!

I get to read "Baby Farm Animals" over and over to Cameron, and sit with Susan snuggled up on my lap while she re-assimilates after a long afternoon nap. I get to read my own book until I get tired of it, then I can flip through the new edition of Runners World or Light and Tasty magazines. My two bigger kids often find their way next to me on the couch, and the biggest one even laid his head in my lap today while we watched a re-run of Greatest American Hero from 1981.

What a life of paradise! I am going to love every minute of this "vacation" I am having. I will try my best to etch these things in my mind and on my heart. Every day is a gift from God. Even the days of physical pain and temporary inconvenience. In fact - I may find more gifts here than on the average, ordinary days.

Just gotta know where to look.

Monday, July 5, 2010


Today the pain is more focused and the redness, while darker, covers less surface area.  I don't especially feel well, either.  Kinda tired of being sick.

Happy Independence Day

Wow...that's a honkin' word. In-de-pen-dence...whew!

I bet you were thinking that I might write something thoughtful about that word and what it means to me.


I'm not feeling very "deep" right now. The good news is - it's after 1am and the neighborhood is blissfully quiet! The bad news is - it's after 1am and I'm up to experience it.

I got up to take some drugs because my leg is killing me (can't even have the sheet on it). The pill got stuck in my throat so I opened a package of crackers and sat down with the new Runners World. Then I got to thinking about our newest challenge on and how I hadn't finalized the team assignments yet - the challenge starts tomorrow - eek!

Anyway, did that and remembered that I missed writing these last few days. I feel like SUCH a whiner I don't even want to put my thoughts down. Trying to stay positive.

Tomorrow I am going to bring some weights up from the basement and get cracking on some upper body moves. I can't stand any pressure or weight on my leg so I will have to do them here in this seat. I might try some Girl Pushups as my calf would be in the correct positioning for pain reduction. Here's what I was thinking for workouts tomorrow:

Hammer Curls
Bent Over Rows
Triceps Kickbacks
Military Press
Chest Press and Flys (IF laying down on the floor isn't to bad)
Girl Pushups

If I can do 15 of each, maybe 3 or 4 times tomorrow - it might be better than the NOTHING that has been my workout routine for the last week. I will bet once I get going, I will get pretty inventive and remember lots of moves from the multitude of workout videos I've done over the years!

I received a wonderful e-mail from a family at church who wants to help out by bringing supper to the house tomorrow. I'm getting pretty stressed out because of being largely incapacitated and unable to really cook or clean anything. This will help out - ease my mind and be one less thing to worry about.

Leaving me to concentrate on getting better.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

At the Hospital

Well...three days on some nice strong antibiotics and my infection is just getting worse. I just had some blood drawn and we shall see. Pray for me, please.

Friday, July 2, 2010


Only 24 more hours til I start to get better...

Okay, I Think I'm Done

As of today I am done feeling sorry for myself. My pity party concerning the events of the last month is now over.

Thought you'd like to know.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Just So You Know...

This is what it looks like when there is nothing wrong with you foot and leg. My shin has hot red spots now and walking is very painfull. When I DIE then they will believe me that I'm really sick...