You know your going to be "busy" with four children. A logical mind understands the financial and time commitment of having a large family. But I am finding out that:
I didn't know squat.
I think the most surprising thing to me is the constant existence of Survival Mode. Anyone who's had a new baby understands what I'm talking about. That sleep deprived, can't get much more tired than I am right now, oh lookey yes I can, gee that's new, sort of mode. Where the things still need to be done and the house cleaned and shopping done and you're just a shell of a human zombie walking around
Doing it anyway.
I don't mean to seem so dark here, of course I "consider it all joy." But really, I had no idea how insanely busy we would be. With kids in drama, band, chorus, football, church activities and more, we run every night of the week. And not just the actual doing of the stuff but keeping track of
books and uniforms
required clothing and equipment
practice logs and times
and washing the 47 metric tonnes of laundry.
I'm just glad that winter is over so that we don't have the whereDIDyour_____runofftowhileweslept conversation every time we leave the house. I'm telling you - I'm a reasonably organized person and it seems like once a month I get surprised by an appointment, practice, recital or
Kindergarten entrance physical that I forgot.
I guess I just need verification that this is normal. That I'm not going crazy. That the fact that we no longer match socks or have a starchy and non-starchy vegetable with each and every dinner doesn't make me in suspect of child neglect. That I'd rather be left completely alone in a sensory deprivation tank that anything else in the wide world.
Ok maybe I'm not so normal.
But after cleaning up a pukie bed, trying to corral 5 kids all day with a sore throat and no voice, and having the 5 year old fall on his head off the porch I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I even transcended the wish to become chemically altered. Yes, I think I've finally lost it.