What I Am
I remember when I started blogging in 2007 - I was pregnant with our 3rd child and was eager to find some sort of group that I could fit in to. Back then, I was working outside the home in the office of a construction company - an 8-5 M-F type of thing. I was struggling to define myself so that I could find others with the same label and fit in.
Mother of Kids in School
Pregnant
Employed Outside the Home
Christ Follower
Runner
I wanted a group of women that would fit all of these criteria that I could talk to. Relate to. Most of the friends and family I had at that time wore this label:
Stay at Home Mom
So I wrestled big-time when our daughter was born and I had to go back to work. I was mad at God and felt like he was robbing me of a chance to fit in. I didn't know anyone else my age with a new baby and 2 older kids that worked a full time job. I spent the next year or so trying desperately to label myself. I got right back to running and ran my first Half Marathon when Susan was 11 months old. I crossed the finish line and went home to nurse our daughter and felt NO closer to figuring out who I was.
Directly after that, my definition of self got altered, seriously...I found out another baby was on the way and went on bed rest off and on, where I gained 60lbs. With the babies so close together, affording daycare was going to be more than my salary, so I quit the job I had held for nearly 7 years. We decided that I would stay home with the kids and maybe babysit to help us stay afloat. Then we made the decision to Home School our older children. So, about a year after our son was born I struggled with this list.
Mother of Kids in School
Pregnant
Employed Outside the Home
Christ Follower
Runner
I realized that no matter what, all I can really count on is change. The one thing that stays constant is what defines me. Through having a more flexible schedule, I've been able to be more active in our church. I've had enrichment with individuals that would not have fit into my Friend Matrix before. I grin when I write this, because I now realize how short-changing it is to have such a paradigm.
I am a woman and I don't need any other label. Labels are how you keep track of things to use them later. I am constantly in service. I am flexible and can change my purpose hour to hour. My usefulness is only limited by time. I am an ever-learning machine and my ability to assimilate and use information makes the male of our species gaze in wonder.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made - and so are you. That's a good enough place for me to fit in.
Mother of Kids in School
Pregnant
Employed Outside the Home
Christ Follower
Runner
I wanted a group of women that would fit all of these criteria that I could talk to. Relate to. Most of the friends and family I had at that time wore this label:
Stay at Home Mom
Directly after that, my definition of self got altered, seriously...I found out another baby was on the way and went on bed rest off and on, where I gained 60lbs. With the babies so close together, affording daycare was going to be more than my salary, so I quit the job I had held for nearly 7 years. We decided that I would stay home with the kids and maybe babysit to help us stay afloat. Then we made the decision to Home School our older children. So, about a year after our son was born I struggled with this list.
Christ Follower
I realized that no matter what, all I can really count on is change. The one thing that stays constant is what defines me. Through having a more flexible schedule, I've been able to be more active in our church. I've had enrichment with individuals that would not have fit into my Friend Matrix before. I grin when I write this, because I now realize how short-changing it is to have such a paradigm.
I am a woman and I don't need any other label. Labels are how you keep track of things to use them later. I am constantly in service. I am flexible and can change my purpose hour to hour. My usefulness is only limited by time. I am an ever-learning machine and my ability to assimilate and use information makes the male of our species gaze in wonder.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made - and so are you. That's a good enough place for me to fit in.
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