I'm not sure why there is this space where God lives and I cannot. I can trust him and chalk things up to "there's always a reason" most of the time. But sometimes, things are so far out of my scope of understanding, I can't even see God standing there.
A baby was Heaven Born this weekend. I've known the parents from church, sat by them, chatted with them. I know their relatives, and friends. This baby was to be trusted to my care after Momma returned to her duties as a school teacher. She's been to my house, my kids were so excited.
The only thing I could think of at first was WHY. Why did THAT happen?? Those thoughts were followed by guilt. I have 4 healthy children that I certainly don't deserve. My heart breaks for the family, my soul aches for the Mother.
Somehow, I can "understand" most things we chalk up as tragedy here on earth. Illness, natural disaster, death and financial ruin can all be seen from a long term perspective...eventually. But the death of a child seems to serve no greater good. It only serves to remind me that God is God and I am not. I don't understand Him fully, and I never will.
But when we agree to follow Christ, we sign that contract of stepping out of our comfort zone. Some call it stepping out on faith. As I grow in my walk with God, I see more and more that this thing was not meant to be easy. If life was easy, we wouldn't have any reason to turn to Him and lean on Him for help.