Nearly sixteen years ago, I sat criss-cross-applesause on a hospital bed around 1:00am with a baby on my lap. I remember looking at him and thinking "what in the world am I going to do with him??"
I became a mother that day.
Arguably, I became a mother when I first discovered our first son. But I was a different mother the day he was born. I became a different mother the first time he choked on spit-up, the first time he fell and hurt himself, with the first word he said, the first time he walked alone, the first time he spent the day away from me. I will soon become a different mother as
I watch him drive away.
I guess I thought that "Motherhood" was a finite state. You had a baby and became one and that was the end of the transaction. I have learned a lot since I was 22 and had my first baby. The transformation is the curious part. The infinite difference in sixteen years of growth and development on my part is staggering. More so than our children's, in fact. I have learned temperance, patience, goodness, love, courage and strength like never before.
As time passes my scope of mothering is ever widening. While I have always had a heart for children, I also now care more for youth and young adults. Nothing really prepared me to be going for a run through the college campus and seeing handsome young men that
remind me of my son.
In some ways, being a mother has expanded my love for humanity overall. I have learned much about loving people right where they are and not making affection contingent on change. I have learned that you can love someone and still want to kick them square in the butt. And that's okay. And when it's all said and done you love them more.
Humanity looks like sons and daughters, now.
The nameless throngs look less like threats and more like somebodies kids. I am less irritated by by irritating people and perhaps more intrigued by their behavior. I do believe our society needs a time out. Or, dare I say, a spanking.
Mostly, Motherhood has reminded me that I am loved. When I didn't know God's love, it was my children that showed me I was needed and loved. When I forget my worth to The King of Kings, my little Princes and Princesses remind me that I am the Queen of the World to them.
Some people say that 4 is a lot of kids.
God knew that Liam, Alahnnah, Susan and Cameron, each in their own unique ways and personalities would be just what I needed.
Happy Mother's Day.