So very grateful that I work from home. My back has been up to its usual tricks with increasing frequency. I am very aware how blessed I am that on especially difficult days (like today) I can sit in my rocker with the heating pad and read books to kiddos, assist with a puzzle, or even allow a little extra TV. If I could only figure how to cook meals and snacks from here...
I was talking with my sister the other day about my tentative plans to scale back my training. While proper daily exercise is very important to managing a chronic pain issue, I'm not sure that pushing my body to it's limits really is. While I do consider myself a balanced athlete, with time devoted to weight training, flexibility and endurance, I fill my whole year with training for increasingly more difficult events. This year I trained for my first marathon in the spring, and my fall event is a push to break a time barrier on an Olympic length tri.
It might be time to focus on other goals with my fitness, rather than increased speed and distance. Maybe the goal of being able to do a head stand in yoga, or being able to squat a full plate (135lbs). I really love running, but maybe I need to do some walking instead. I even said all this out loud to my husband - so that I've said it. I'm pretty sure he was thinking what I've been thinking about all that.
That it's crap.
I don't think I can be satisfied with yoga, walking and swimming laps. The sweat, pain and mental toughness required to do hard workouts is what keeps the voices in my head from taking over! Don't misunderstand, I do like easy runs and relaxing yoga - but I couldn't do it all the time. At this point, walking for an hour would sort of seem like a "why bother." I know...sounds snotty - I'm not judging anyone else AT ALL - just saying for MYSELF, that would not be worth suiting up.
Oh well. I did say to them both that I would like to complete a 70.3 next year before deciding whether or not to scale back. And, maybe scaling back would look like just one major event per year rather than two. Secretly, I would love to hear Mike Reilly say "Andrea Morton, YOU are an IronMan!" Maybe when I turn 50. I got a few years before that - maybe my back will straighten up and get with the program by then.
For today - I bagged my morning run in favor of an extra hour of sleep. I've been on the heating pad and taken my medicine. I feel extremely lazy - but hoping by evening I feel better and can help my Mom at her new condo. Maybe I will even get to sleep well tonight. One day at a time - that's all we get!