Monday, August 22, 2011

Things I Don't Get


1. Common popular vernacular, such as "I know, right!?" Grammatically, this sentence is a nightmare. It even feels like a train wreck when I say it. I make fun of my kid when he says it - he thinks I'm a dork.

2. Why my 13 year old doesn't want to be in the same part of the house with me all day until after 8pm. This also happens to be the time when I am trying to catch up with things on the computer, pay bills, give myself a long overdue pedicure, think in a straight line, etc.

3. The fact that the earlier I have to get up and the more I have to do the next day, the less I can sleep that night. I have to pee 12 times, and of course, check the clock each time. That would also be the night one of my children is walking in their sleep (see #9).

4. Most of popular mainstream music. Seriously, I must be 80 years old, I think the lyrics are socially bankrupt and the musicians never put any thought into what they are doing to those poor drum kits. Somebody should take away their toys. And we PAY to hear that!? Wow.

5. Calluses. The ones on my feet, anyway. I'm on my feet quite a lot, and I rarely wear shoes...mostly Birkenstocks, or Vibrams...some running shoes for longer hauls. I'm confused as to why the calluses increase in size and need to be sloughed off...seems they should just hang out and protect my toes. Why do I need to mess with them?

6. Our 2 year old's wardrobe preferences. He is constantly seen in one of three outfits...his swimming suit, his robot footy pj's or just a diaper. It doesn't seem to matter how hot or cold it is outdoors - he likes what he likes. I don't really care - I mean, whatever gets you through the day - but I ponder his tiny reasoning.

7. Why I feel like a "have not" when I own a home, two cars, and have all the food I need to eat. I can't believe sometimes I am SO STUPID and PETTY to actually be envious of other due to their material possessions! Looooooser.

8. Couponing - man, I'm just not as good at that as those other chicks I know. How the heck do they do that!?

9. Why my kids sleepwalk. I'm glad my son doesn't do it much anymore - but my daughter has been scaring the crap out of me about 3 times a week lately. She's stressed out about starting school...it's like having a newborn in the house!

10. Why taking off your pants increases your comfort by 90%. Even if I still have jewelry and makeup on - the freedom on the bottom half makes it feel like Sunday afternoon.

What things don't you get?
Does it make you feel old - like the music one does for me?
Do your kids sleepwalk?

3 comments:

  1. yeah i can't figure out why i should mess with my callouses either, clearly my foot thought it needed that extra protection.

    ok #10 is just hilarious!

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  2. I love this! And I love your energy. Thank you for the e-mail today...it really brightened my spirits and it was great to come here and read your blog. Hope to read much more. no pants...yes! And the sleep thing...yes! :)

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  3. I will be sending your sticker too! ;) Thanks for wanting one.

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