Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Fear of a Number

Everyone who is overweight has a magical number in mind for their "wow, if I could just be that thin again" number. Even if you have been heavy your whole life - you can look back to 20, 50 or 100 pounds ago and long for that size that, at the time, you abhorred. If you've ever lost weight only to gain it all back, you know what I'm talking about!

This is actually my 3rd stab at this weight. Well, up until 4lbs ago. I have gone from 225 - 175 twice. The first time I went all the way down to 145 (still NOT to goal, btw), and the second time I got to 175, ran a half marathon, then promptly got pregnant again. :eyeroll:

So there is some mental block about that 175 mark. Today I sit here at 171, feeling pretty good that the last 4lbs are some oldies. I've been carrying these around for 4 years. When I was marathon training, I couldn't get below the magic number. I was also nursing a baby, and I don't think I allowed my body enough calories to do everything. I craved sweets, I couldn't stay on my strict program all the time, and I didn't stick to it 100%.

This time I'm working through the 170's pretty good. It's taken me all of June, July and August to loose 10lbs (*ahem*) but I 'bout got her done. It's a true fact, though, that 4lbs for me is just one weekend nacho binge. I need to put more distance between me and 175. I think 10lbs will be good and I've challenged myself to get there by October 1st. No more messing around. No more excuses about vacations, and hormones....or hormonal vacations... I just need to buckle down and get it done.

Little (biggish) number can't scare me.

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