Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I'm Learning

I used to envy stay at home moms. I guess I figured that the only way they could stay home was if thier husband had some fabulous paying job that allowed them to live as if they had two incomes.

I would see Mom's at Wal-Mart over my lunch break and think "gee, must be nice". Never seeing them check out with a fistfull of coupons and load it up in to their barely-still-running minivan. All I could think of was myself and my desires. Somehow I couldn't see all of thier sacrifice.

When I returned home from taking the kids to school yesterday, one of the neighbors was outside smoking a grit and waved from his front porch. I automatically decided that he was probably judging me and mentaly started to defend myself.

Then the walls came down.

I finally realized the error I had been making all this time. While I'm sure that some single income families are quite comfortable on one income, there are likely more like us. It's definitely a sacrifice financially - one that I didn't fully expect. Things aren't quite clicking along with the childcare like I had anticipated and things are really tight.

It is so worth it, though. God has provided in fantastic ways for us this last month. When I wasn't sure how things would work out, I just chose obedience anyway and things just worked out! The time I've been able to spend with my family and taking care of our home has been so worth it to. My in-laws came to spend the night and the house was already clean - no worries!!

So I guess I'm growing. Trying not to assume things anymore. Trying to look at others and not automatically think that they somehow have it better than me. It's slow but I'm learning.

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