Monday, October 22, 2007

Pride in the Name of Love

To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
Proverbs 8:13
Pride - a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

My previous mode of thought has been that perfectionism isn’t a bad thing. So I like to have things done right, what’s the matter with that? For example: I have recipes that I have printed off of the internet and torn out of magazines. I have a perfectly good three ring cook book with sheet protectors, but I won’t put them in there because I don’t have time to transcribe each one on a matching recipe card. Heaven forbid my recipe book would be a hodge-podge…the horror of that word alone makes me shudder.

I have to figure out why, periodically, I seriously burn myself out. It’s perfectly normal to be tired and even some days, totally wiped out! All of us are trying to do a tremendous amount of work on a daily basis. However, I don’t think its okay to fall into a hole of mental and physical exhaustion. I don’t see what possible good I could be to my husband and children when that happens. That is where I have been for the last few days. Because I can’t be as good as I think I should be…I cannot live up to the inordinately high opinion of my own dignity as cherished in my own mind. I work hard at it and it’s impossible.

So, I’m turning to the One with all the answers. I’m happy to have finally found out what it is that causes me to over extend, over work, over commit, and over plan. I’m not to happy that it happens to be pride that is the issue. After all, I’m better than that.

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