Friday, July 31, 2015

Stinky Attitude

Magical sunrise that I tried to ignore.
I really, really, really, really, really, did not want to ride my bike this morning.  There is something about me that I've come to realize over the years.  Well, there are a lot of things - some of which are not fit to print - but one thing is that the harder I resist doing something, the more I probably need to do it.

I'm mad, you see.  Mad at cycling. Mad at helmets and traffic and bike paths and clip in pedals.

I'm oftentimes angry.  I guess it's a "thing" with me.  I get riled up about something and I just get madder and madder.  It starts with something like my kid getting hit on his bike and it blows up into the whole world hating cyclists.  I get more and more worked up and isolate so that nobody knows what a big baby I am being.  Before you know it, I'm back to some very unhealthy behaviors and things are falling apart.  Not that you'd ever know.  I'm also a very good stuffer.  But that is for another post.

Let's get off this morning for a bit, though and back track to last night.  I did get out in the garage and shape things up a little bit.  Our 8-year-old helped me sweep and we have a couple of carpet remnants that we vacuumed.  Cleared of the workbench, hooked an oscillating fan up out there and voila!  Nice space to sweat!

We had the radio going while we were working and the kids had a good time.  Well, the two little ones did.  The 13-year-old was glued to Instagram and the 17-year-old was glued to his girlfriend.  *sigh*

Cameron Schwartzenegger
Our 8-year-old, Susan, is an aspiring gymnast - so I was entertained by forward rolls, back bends, and "almost a cartwheel".  We rigged up a balance beam for her to practice on and it was a lot of fun.  We danced around until after 9:00pm when Mom realized that it was waaaay time to go in and go to bed.

I know, it looks dangerous.
My husband went and returned the vacuum cleaner to my Mom's place.  Unfortunately ours died (it was only 12 years old, gosh!) so we've been borrowing hers.  My attitude was really, really, really, really, stinky so I sat in the garage and pouted while he went by himself.  That made me feel even more guilty, so yeah - the circle of crap continues.


Wanna see a picture of a belligerent 39-year-old spoiled brat that didn't want to do anything good for her this morning?

We hates this.
It's not like I had to force myself to get out of bed this morning, so I don't know what the big deal was.  I'm awake by 5:30 most of the time by default (dang, I'm OLD). I get so mad that I don't want to feel better - and I knew that the morning air and the sunrise would make me feel better.


Do you get like that?  So wallowing in the self pity party that you refuse to feel better?  Psycho, much Andrea!?  So, I refused to see the beautiful sunrise behind the clouds until it was almost out of sight.  I refused to smile and be nice to people on the trail - thought I begrudgingly did holler "on your left" to the pedestrians (damn peds, I bet if THEY get hit by a car people will care).  See!?  What a brat I am!

After I turned around at the halfway point - of a route that I deliberately picked because I HATE IT - it happened.

I was smiling and breathing and pedaling and enjoying the sun on my face.  I was smiling at people and watching birds and LIKING IT.

Oh, Lord, you are a sneaky one.  Yes indeed.  You love me even when I am being the stinkiest, stink pot in Stinker Town.  Good thing.  Good, good thing.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Back on the Horse

Beautiful Nebraska between Lincoln and Nebraska City on Hwy 2

It is SO hard to get back on the bike after you crash.

The first time.

Then after that you realize that hitting the ground - or a tree as the case may be - is a possibility each and every time and you just pedal and try to get over that nagging sensation that it might happen again.

Right After Impact
And it might.

Just like many undesirable things in life - crashing a bicycle isn't usually a one time deal.  Life tends to give me varying degrees of suckiness, as it does all of us.  The level of suck usually depends on one thing.

My reaction.

When I crashed into a tree on Saturday I wasn't going very fast.  I'll bet I wasn't going over 10 mph and really I bumped the tree and fell off my bike.  It was a thud-twump kind of deal.  I laid there in the grass for a minute with the rain falling down on me, trying to catch my breath and I shouted "I hate freaking RAIN!"  After determining that I was pretty much okay, I checked out  my bike, adjusted a break pad and rolled on home.  

The main thing I was worried about was my upcoming swim in the State Games of America Triathlon on Sunday.  I'm part of a team and I really want to do my best in the swim to give our team a good lead.  So - I haven't swam at all this week.  My ride this morning made my shoulder pretty sore so I'm sort of up in the air about even swimming tonight.  I don't want to make things worse and be all lame on Sunday.

My ride this morning was a bit timid anyway.  I had a hard ride on the schedule, but instead did a solid even effort on the safest bike path I could think of.  An out and back, even, because I didn't want to cross any busy streets.  My son was hit on his bike in a crosswalk last week and I didn't want a repeat.

Two Days Later
I can't help but replay peoples ignorant comments from this week when I go out for a ride.  First of all - I've been asked many times why cyclists ride on the roads - they are so slow and I have to go around, gee!  Then you have people who chime in and say that bikes don't belong on the sidewalks.  My husband has been honked at, yelled at and given the finger for riding in the street.  I have acquaintances who have been overtly bullied by vehicles on the road.

So I guess what usually is a source of peace and solace for me, has turned into a catalyst to lament on people's ignorance and I'm also scared to death!  My son was hit while riding across the street in a crosswalk.  Due to a city ordinance, we are liable for the damage to the vehicle because he failed to walk his bike through the intersection.  People chime in and say that it's for 'everyone's safety' that we have those laws on the books.  It's usually people who've never ridden more than a few blocks and don't have any idea what they are even talking about.  

I just feel so betrayed by people, right now!


On a happier note, the training for Last Blast is clicking right along.  I started a later shift at work and that extra hour in the morning has been like a gift from heaven.  Instead of getting up at 4:45 for workouts, I am lazing about in bed until 5:45.  The trails are busier and I feel safer on the run.  However, the roads are busier and I feel less safe on the bike.  My long bike rides on Saturdays followed by long runs on Sundays are getting easier and my legs are barely fatigued at the start of the run.

Soon, we will sprinkle in some two-a-day runs to prep for Market to Market Relay. Yay!!

Tonight I'm going to work on my garage gym.  My gym space downstairs is to disruptive to my sleeping teen in the mornings, so I moved a few things out to the garage.  Our garage is tiny and our car would never fit in it, so we use it for storage.   A few weeks ago, my husband moved some weights and a mat out there so I could do my strength training routine before my run or bike.  It's worked out pretty well, and I even drug the bike trainer out there one day when it rained out my ride.  Next week I have to go in early to cover for the Receptionist who is on vacation - so I think I'm going to ride in the safety of the garage while it's dark.

Whatever gets it done, that's the main thing!  Or, as Carrie Tollefson would say "Get after it!"