Crossroads
I've been sitting here stalling. I need to write this blog but I don't want to out myself. Somehow when you say something it then becomes real. I've tried several first lines, fiddled around with some titles, and tried to lighten it up. I can't decide what to think, so it's hard to write it down. I love our children. I want more. I tell myself and everyone else that I don't. I lie to myself and say things like - "I'm getting to old" or "we can't afford it." I try to remind myself about how terrible my last pregnancy and birth was, but underneath it all I wouldn't mind having another one. I don't know if I would survive another year of sleep deprivation, another year of nursing, another year of recovery. We already have social issues arising from our plethora of pre-schoolers and hubby and I haven't been on a date since April. It's hard to go anywhere, and with the age spread, harder still to find something th...
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